Shining through the Clouds.

“One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and, if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words.”  ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Wilhelm Meister's Apprenticeship

To survive this life, it is important to find the value in the storm. Yet, the truth is, everyone struggles. Life and Death serve a purpose, one that can be hidden by the clouds, and it is up to the indiviual to find that value. It is not enough to merely wish for the storm to pass, but to find the beauty with in it - the sun. It may take days, months, even years, but that moment will shine through.

My sunshine was found hidden within me; yes that is probably the most cliched sentence ever used in the history of the English Language, yet it deems itself true. One cannot move on without looking at oneself in the mirror and seeing the beauty of Life inside. A heart so close to being blackened and cold forever, found content and joy in the simplest of everyday pleasures. It was so easy for me to be cold and unforgiving when the cards gave out so much darkness, and turning those storms into light was harder to do.  Yet somehow, I found it - the reason to breathe each morning, the reason not to use a fake smile - it was myself. 

At the age of 25, I still have a lot of the world to see. However, I am finally happy with the life I am living; a Year 2 teacher living in the UAE.  That was definitely not something expected of me when I was back at school. I had to prove a lot of people wrong. I became a teacher to help nurture and challenge the young minds of the future, but also let them know that they can become whatever they want, no matter what someone else thinks. They can create their own sunshine. 

I will not be out here in the UAE forever, I hope to bring that little bit of happiness back to the UK, back to my home. I always said I needed a reason to go back, love and family, but I know I am going back for me. It's where I belong. Another year out in the Middle East, and the door on this storm will be closed but not forgotten. I have made many wonderful and shiny memories, friendships may not last but they were needed and blessed. They made me who I am today. Each event taught me to stay true to myself, to be content in what I have, no need to search for something that was not necessary. 

It may be so that my anxiety and depression will always follow me around, but it lets me know I am only human. Soon as I forgot who I am,when the clouds take over, I know it is time to open a new book, listen to a new song and I will come back to me. 

Life is strangely beautiful - it takes one decision to alter the path you are on, but don't question it. Take that chance, follow your instinct, and do all the other cheesy life quotes that go with this. Life is meant to be lived, it is meant to be enjoyed. Find that reason and make it your sunshine. You have the right to enjoy it. Don't spend your time thinking of the what if's, go for it! I really don't want to end this post cheesier than my nachos at Paco's but what they say is true.You have sunshine on a cloudy day!

Now to find someone to share my sunshine with. 

Melissa

That Girl

That girl you see at the bar isn't always drunk, just lacking in confidence. She isn't intimidating,  just shy. She isn't quiet, just unsure of how to talk to people. She prefers to listen and admire the people around her.  When she does talk, please don't mistake it as flirting as many people do.  She doesn't flirt, she just smiles with her eyes. She sits alone writing, she isn't a weirdo. She does her own thing regardless of what others think. That doesn't mean she is snobby and thinks you are beneath her, she likes being in her own bubble.

That girl doesn't like it when you accuse her of being ignorant. Nine time out of ten you are annoyingly creepy and stating the obvious. Yes she is writing in a bar, yes she is alone. She prefers to stay away from your kind, the kind that makes her stomach roll. She has a reason to ignore your advances. You don't understand being told 'no' for the umpteenth time. You insult her speech, her fashion style. That girl has her eyes set on someone else.


That guy. The guy who appears to be a walking cliche; his smile lights up the room, his eyes sparkling with mischief with a hint of playfulness. His hold makes you feel protected. His touch makes you feel warm inside. An accent that rivals the stereotypical Irish charm. An international crush. Almost perfect. That guy happens to be someone untouchable, out of her league, her friend's crush as it seems too. one could guess it's due to his ability to charm ant woman he comes across.

For now that girl will dream instead.

Six month catch-up with MJR

So what is going on in the life of MJR. To be honest, absolutely nothing. Tumble-weed. Actually, tumble-weed probably has more of a life than I do lately. Let's get back to were I last left off - the honeymoon phase. Well that part didn't last long at all as it was over by October, and depression soon reared its' sad ugly head. Nothing really happened during October-December, just drinking and working. I wasn't really in the mood to do anything. However, during my two week vacation, I visited home and it soon made me realise that life in Al Ain wasn't that bad.  I didn't seem to fit in at home, and the atmosphere was terrible. It was nice seeing my family though, even if I did spend most of the time fighting with my parents or sleeping. Since my return to the UAE, I haven't really thought that much about home. Work has kept me on my toes. 12 weeks without a break has finally taken its toll on me. Work consumes five days of my week, and the last two are used for playing the sleep catch-up game. Nothing productive ever happens on Fridays and Saturdays. Work, eat, sleep. Three words that sum up my life quite perfectly. Thankfully, there are only two weeks left and then its vacation time. A much needed vacation time.

Well so far I have climbed a mountain - albeit in a car. The view was amazing, seeing the whole of Al Ain was a spectacular vision. I also attended the first game in the new Al Ain stadium. I hate football but it was a good day out even if I was hungover. The school also allowed us to attend the Red Bull AirRace in Abu Dhabi. Again I hate planes...but the whole twisting and turning and the aerobatic show afterwards was immense.

It's hard to believe that 6months has gone by, and only 4 months till I can visit the UK again. I can't wait to get a decent social life. My personal life here is quite abysmal. Lent has made it quite hard to enjoy the past 10 days as well. No fast food, no chocolate, no alcohol, no pleasures. However, I did cheat - I accidentally ate chocolate courtesy to Sheenal's cake-in-a-cup. It was only due to the fact that I was amazed that a cake could be made in a cup in just 90 seconds. It tasted so delicious. Luckily, the no alcohol rule is still standing. I have been placed in temptations way quite a lot.

Speaking of temptations, the reason why I have used MJR in my post is because of a new nickname that I have acquired during my time here. I normally hate nicknames but this one I kind of like. Obviously it's my initials, but it's simple. Maybe I only liked it because of the person who gave me it. When he says MJR, it's like velvet rolling of his tongue. He is a bass player in the local bar I attend - yeah I seem to attract the bassists - but he's rather sweet when he wants to be. His cute ass has also gotten me in to trouble a few times too. Crazy bitches following him around have expressed their distaste in me knowing him; hey that's another story that could take forever to type up. Anyways enough about him and more about my vacation.

So two weeks and two days off will finally give me a chance to see Dubai. That's right. I have lived here for 6 months and all I have seen is Dubai airport and Abu Dhabi beach. I will be venturing out by myself as the others will be on their holidays in other countries. I don't mind going alone, but some company would be nice. So I've planned for Dubai, Abu Dhabi and maybe Oman if I can fit it in to my budget. Who knows.

Well this is all I can be bothered to type at the moment. I'm sure those that read this have me on social network sites can catch-up with me on there.

15.10.13

It has been roughly one month and a half since I arrived in Al Ain, and my life has done a complete 360 multiple of times. So lets begin where I left off in my last post which happened to be the first night in my new home. Well what happened after that was simply more than your average emotional roller-coaster.

I decided to a bit of shopping whilst I waited for a fellow UK-er to arrive. This was to be my first grocery trip and what an experience it was. I had no idea what to buy except from water, milk and bread. Do I buy frozen food? But if I do how will I cook it with no actual oven in my room? Do I try and keep away from chocolates and buy fruit instead? Questions were running through my head million miles a second. Though one question was the most important of all...how the heck do I get to the shopping centre? Luckily the accommodation managers had left a get-started kit which included maps to all of the local shops. I decided to take the most uncommon mode of transport someone in the UAE would use to get there - by foot. It was rare for anyone to walk anywhere never mind a female on her own; and I wasn't surprised as to why. The traffic was horrendous and everyone stared at you like you had grown an extra set of arms and legs and had five eyes. Everyone who walked had an immediate neon sign pointing to them saying "look at me I'm walking. Please beep your horn at me and shout random words at me".

I finally managed to make it to Jimi Mall, Al Ain, and I felt at piece. I must have spent roughly about 3 hours in the supermarket itself.

I don't want to be talking about what I did ever second of everyday as have just I realised how much space talking about the supermarket trip had actually taken up. So I will move quickly on to the beginning of the first day at School.

Well the first week was simply a CPD week where I felt like I was actually back at school. You found out who were the nicest people, the ones who liked the sound of their voices and the ones you had to avoid. I had it figured out after about the first day. The second week came and the school had decided to push back the starting date for the children, which for me was a good thing. I wasn't totally ready to teach. Yet after the second week of no children I was getting more anxious as the seconds ticked by. I had a full two weeks of lessons prepared.

Finally the day arrived and I was not expecting the day to go the way it day - or the following weeks for that matter either. Now I do not want to put the exact details about what happened during the days at the school in case this gets into the wrong hands, but lets just say structure, communication, organisation and safety are not the strongest points. One can certainly say there is a lot of spirit there though.

Through all the tears and the tantrums (and that's just from me), I can safely say that some of  the children are starting to understand that I am not going anywhere and I will not give up on them - which is what looks like happened to the majority of them last year. 

I will end this post on a high note. Though my personal life has hit an all time low, some of my children know how to put a smile on my face. With all the stickers, little messages on scrap pieces of paper and  the on bouquet of flowers I received, these children have a lot of happiness in them and I will do whatever it takes to let them shine and grow in wonderful people.

The end of one teaching experience....

One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. "Which road do I take?" she asked. "Where do you want to go?" was his response. "I don't know," Alice answered. "Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."

                        (Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland)

Education allows every individual to create their own paths in life; whether that’s to explore themselves as a person, extend their knowledge and wisdom, or even help develop a career that they would like.

Teacher Professionalism:

Professionalism, in any aspect of teaching, is a critical component of education. Professionalism, to me, means a commitment to teaching my subject knowledge to others and presenting what is best for the learners. It also means having the right skills and attitudes modelled for the learners – to be a positive role in their education. By having the right attitude to teaching, I can take more risks with lessons and make changes that will improve the learning.  I have also learnt that flexibility is the key to being professional.  As I was unable to teach my specialist subject, English Literature, I had to adapt to teach Functional Skills Literacy instead. Here I did encounter problems and mistakes within my teaching of this subject, but my experience helped me overcome this issue. Teaching a different subject helped me to be resilient and adaptable when such problems did arise.

My teaching experience also helped me to develop a professional attitude to treating all students fairly and look for the best in my learners. The learning environment showed me how focusing on the strengths rather than their criminal record helped remove bias and prejudice from myself and other learners.  This also strengthened my ability to follow through on disciplinary methods for the more disruptive learners.    

Teacher Values:

My values of teaching have changed throughout the experience I have been given. At first, I thought teaching was about being knowledgeable about the subject I teach; however, you must have the ability to communicate to pass on that knowledge. Communication here relates to the concept that teachers must be able to connect with the learners, and keep them interested in every session that occurs. Yet it is not just the learners you need to communicate with, it’s communicating your thoughts and feelings with other members of staff to help develop yourself as a teacher.

I also believe that trust and confidence are important in teacher values. My mentor has helped me with this aspect as my learning environment required a high level of trust and confidence in the learners. I was only allowed to share information told to me by the learners when it threatened the safety of the learners and myself. However I must understand both the learners’ educational and emotional need regardless of their criminal background.

Another value that has been shaped by my experience is my level of organisation and more pressure has been placed upon me due to the nature of the learning environment. The learners’ work has to be marked promptly as no work is to leave the learning environment for their own safety and maintaining their ILPS at the end of the session was a difficulty. As a trainee teacher my lesson plans had to be created well in advance and any resources had to be sent to the deputy leader for system checks. This developed my ability to create lessons that were simple, practical and achievable for the learners and the focus was only on them.

As a result my mentor at my learning environment helped in the shaping of my teacher values. By sharing my thoughts and reflecting at the end of every session, I was developing as a more professional teacher all the time. Here teamwork by all the members off staff, and my tutor at the university, provided me with tips to control, manage and inspire the learners and the sharing of resources; this increased my level of confidence in teaching and make me realise you do not have to be alone in the learning environment.

Motivating and Engaging Learners:

I cannot pinpoint the exact moment were I finally managed to motivate and engage all learners at the same time; it was simply a case of trial and error. This was due to the churn factor of new learners and the leaving of old learners. However, one way to overcome this problem was to embed a multiple of teaching resources that took into consideration the needs of every individual; for example one typical lesson would use activities on the smart-board to allow group work, and the learners would develop their skills by using comprehension tasks and worksheets which allowed for individual or paired help. By employing different teaching methods in each session meant that the students were constantly challenged, but were allowed to complete the work at their own pace to achieve more than their potential.

One thing I did learn from this was patience; some days the mixing of resources worked whereas other days, simple tasks were the key. By taking into the consideration of the learners' needs in a more active way, I asked the learners how they preferred to learn. This meant that they played a more solid role in their learning. However, I finally realise that it is not always possible to produce creative lessons in such an environment due to the issue of safeguarding the individuals; i.e. competitive tasks normally resulted in learners being disruptive and physical. Yet it is possible to produce these tasks in small quantities and not reuse the resources over again and the session would still be effective.

Teaching Experience:

Throughout my teaching at HMP Durham Prison, I have found it most challenging in terms of its preparation for lessons. Unlike other educational institutions, everything I prepare has to be checked for the safety of the learners and me.  Yet I managed to overcome this by using many online resources such as the SkillsWorkshop, BBC Skillswise, and even the Online English Dictionary. These resources were simple to modify and adapt to each session, and the learners took to the tasks straight away without a problem. Marking work was also a problem within the environment. I had to learn to create assessment tasks that could be marked within the sessions and would still provide an opportunity to provide feedback for the learners.

A typical day would consist of new learners stating they did not want to be in this class, that it was ‘useless’ to them. I learnt to take these comments in stride, and found a way to encourage the learners to stay in education. By acting more than a teacher to them, and actually listening to what they had to say the learners began to trust my teaching methods and turned up to the following session the week after when I was teaching. Many had said that their school ‘teacher did not care’ about the individual and their learning, and began to appreciate that I went out of my way to include them all the time. This also showed me how much learners rely on praise subconsciously. John Wooden once said that:

“Seek opportunities to show you care. The smallest gestures often make the biggest difference.”

Throughout the two and three hour sessions I taught that learners seemed to enjoy the lesson more when they were praised on their achievement. However I made sure not to over-praise as it would appear that I was being condescending to some. The effect of my praise towards the learners seemed to carry on beyond the classroom doors. This showed exactly how communication “must also depend on how interested in other people we really are”.

“When you study great teachers... you will learn much more from their caring and hard work than from their style.”

 I believe that without my mentor and my tutor showing how they invest in what the students actually say then I would not be able to create an environment where learners would feel like they can walk away saying that they have actually enjoyed the lesson and that they have learnt something. I hope with everything that I have learnt over the year, I will pass on to my students. I know that obstacles will stand in my way, but that will make my career choice more exciting.

---

For 'twas not into my ear you whispered but into my heart.

'Twas not my lips you kissed, but my soul
                                                                -Judy Garland


So today has included a mixture of feelings: love, lust, hate and fear. So where to begin? This post will only focus on love and lust as the other two emotions are too raw to write about now.

Love:

Well, to be honest, love is a strong word that I shouldn't be using right now. I would say its more confusing than anything else. Dreams do crazy things to ones head. They make you think of things that you would never have thought of before. I was perfectly fine before I started dreaming. Perhaps I'm only attracted to the person in my dreams and not the person in reality. Whatever it is, it will not go away. Every night consists of the same dream. Right down to the nitty gritty details. This does lead us on to the next emotion - lust. Here, I will simply re-post a poem that sums it all up

Lust:

The gazing of ocean blue against earthly brown,

Velvet whispers, lips he does caress.

A soft embrace, his hand ascends towards her crown.

Brush of her hair, a sweetly placed kiss,

Heart against heart, soul against soul, one they become.

He soaks in his wonderful beauty.

Actions of love envelop her unclothed bosom,

A swift taste of her fresh honey.

One look up at the angel; she begs for mercy,

The promise of his love forever.

Succumbing to his advance, she gives him the key.

They key to her heart and her forever.

The feeling of both bodies, the sound of heaven –

The melody of peace, joy and love.

The perfect fit for her cherished garden,

The perfect fit of his heightened touch.

Collapsing back to earth, the lovers revel in each other’s sight

Each other’s wings of security

He sends his spoken truth to his mate, gives their love the gift of flight

To soar higher than other love for all eternity.

One month to go...

It really amazes me how each day has the same amount of seconds, minutes and hours, yet they pass by quicker than the last. It only felt like a few days ago when I received an email containing an
'acceptance of the offer' letter. In fact I signed the form little over a month ago. It seems that life is going so fast that my mind cannot comprehend what is happening.

There is one thing that keeps me up awake, making the night last longer; and that is all the people I will miss.

1) My mum - I will miss the 10am wake up call that she manages to give me every morning. I will miss the annoying 'just checking your still alive' phone calls. I will miss the snarky and bitchy comments we make at each other when one of us is clearly not in the mood. Yet most of all I will miss her warmth and love that a mother gives her child.
2) My dad - I don't really see him that much due to him working away all the time but I will miss the comments he gives when we do unite... (so you're a dumb blonde now...by your putting on the weight and so on). I will miss the arguments were one of us has to be right no matter what. I will definitely miss getting my random hugs from him when I'm feeling down, lonely, or even just bored.
3) My brother - He may have his own family now, and his own house, but I will miss the random phone calls, his way of conning lifts from me, and all the dead arms I receive when trying to beat him up.  I know Jacqueline and Lillie will keep him occupied.
4) My niece -I will miss the way she says 'missa'. I will miss all of her little attitudes she has. I will miss her hugs and kisses and the way she wakes me up in the morning. I will miss her little laugh and her demanding ways.

I could go on like this with everyone in my family, and those that I hold dear to my heart. I will miss the new friends I made throughout my time at school, college and university (both under and post- grad). I will miss my annoying but amusing colleagues from work. I definitely will not miss the early phonecalls asking to come in asap or the phonecalls at night changing shifts. But my time there has been wonderful.

There are people at work who I will miss more then some (sorry) but that's due to the time spent with each individual. There will be one person I will definitely miss. Their ability to make me laugh when I'm annoyed, their acceptance of my bitchy nature or my attitude when I'm on coffee or had no sleep.

It is crazy how many people enter and leave your life all the time, but the memories created along the way will serve me a lifetime of happiness.

Am I ready to go out in to the world alone? - no, but I will do my darn hardest to make the most of what life has given me. 

In the name of...

...love

To let someone go because you loved them and it seemed like the right thing to at the time, is just utter bullsh*t. In my defence, I do believe that I loved him but I never let him go because of that. I let him go because of silly insecurities that got too much. Silly thoughts that crept into my mind way too many times every day.

How is it possible to let a thought consume so much of my daily life is surely baffling. But it's not just this that has my life all in a tizz. January 9th, saw me break my foot after a night out. From then I went through the stages of anger, self-pity, stress, and depression; just in a total of four weeks. It was during this time that I finally had a grasp on my life, of what I actually wanted. The list is as follows:

1) A career. Yes surely that is a given but I actually want to teach. My placement at HMP Durham has been a real eye opener. To see those turn to crime because of their upbringing, or as a student told me "they never got the chance to go to school and stay there", was shocking. I left one lesson with a smile on my face as one had stated " I really enjoyed that lesson Miss, I felt like I learnt something". It made me feel proud, like I had accomplished something.

2) A family. Someday I want to settle down with my own boyfriend/partner/husband, with whatever children I am blessed with. Again, the near loss of my nana opened my eyes to how cruel life can be. One minute your on the road to recovery, just to take what seems like 10 steps back, towards death's door again. Hopefully, my nana will get better soon, and positive energy will be restored into the family. It feels like the full family is drained emotionally. Events like this do make you appreciate what you have, and that you can't take life for granted. Even if it is short, you have to live it.

3) My life. I want to live a life that is mine. Dreams and goals that are mine. But this also includes having a healthy life. I don't want to be really skinny again, that's not me. I just want to be happy and free. I suppose I will feel that way again once the stress of waiting on test results passes, and when my Nana is home again. I want to find happiness with someone. Someone who will let me have my insecurities, but will help me through them, instead of dismissing them like they are nothing. Someone to understand that I need a compromise, not me putting in all the effort to make something work.  Someone that understands I need my space.

I could write a conclusion to this post but its not necessary. I am what I am, and what I want I will achieve. Someday.

Another Little Quiz

1. What is your best friend's name? Emma

2. Where is the weirdest place you have a mole? I have one randomly on my palm.

3. Who was the hottest teacher you ever had? oooo this is a toughy, probably Mr Thompson, one of my old Chemistry teachers, or perhaps Mr Brown, an old Maths teacher.

4. Do you have an innie or an outtie? I have an innie :)

5. Have you ever been tied up? Do you want to be? I've been tied up once, and I would like to do it again sometime ;)

6. Do you parallel park or drive around the block? I drive around the block, or look for another space

7. Who is the last person you usually think about before you fall asleep? My lovely crush

8. Have you ever had a poem or a song written about you? Yeah I have, quite a few in fact!

9. What was your childhood nickname? Fire, Moo-shake, Milly Molly Mandy, I had a few

10. What's the weirdest thing you have done while driving? I changed my shoes once

11. Do you scrunch or fold your toilet paper? Fold

12. Do you have any strange phobias? Spiders, Blood, Thunder, Lightning

13. What is the stupidest thing you've ever done at a bar? Too many things to write down

14. Have you ever been drunk at work? Plenty of times.

15. Have you ever found your date's/lover's brother or sister more attractive? Once or twice.

Maybe This Time..

I know I say this every week at least once, but this time I have promised myself to continue with my goal.  Apparently it's bad luck to start a diet on a Monday, though I do not know the reason for that. So in light of this, I am starting mine on a Tuesday. However, I am not going to diet as such, but cut down on the amount of food I eat. I eat when I'm bored, emotional, tired, or whenever really; which is ironic cause its making me depressed when I can't fit into my favourite pair of jeans. I am going to keep track of my calorie intake to a suitable level. I even have an app on my phone to help me along the way. Since the average intake for women is round about 2000, I am going to cut mine to 1400, as well as increasing my amount of exercise.

But it is not just my lifestyle that I am going to change, I am also changing my attitude. After speaking to a friend, I have found out that I am quite an intimidating, stuck up bitch - yet this does not seem to be me at all. So as from tomorrow Miss Melissa Rose is going to change, hopefully, and maybe it will be for the better and not for the worst.

Analyse that Raunchy Dream

So I'm going to give a shot at analysing my dream just because I'm sick of dreaming about this guy. Here's the dream:

There's me and this  member of staff from one of my jobs, lets call him Bill. See I sort of like Bill but it is a well know fact that me and Bill will not work out. I start having this same dream about Bill, we are at work when I randomly start calling him abusive names. Then all of a sudden Bill grabs me at the waist and starts to tickle me, confusing much? But that's not it, the dream takes a sudden turn and we end up practically doing it at work. Yet we appear to be invisible to others, as customers and other members of staff just walk right past us. I mean the sex is just pure lust, however he is very attentitive and loveable, almost showing me a side of him that I never see at work.

And here is the analysis:

Chances are this dream is as simple as a good-old fashioned attraction to your boss. Yes, you most likely want to have sex with him. And whether or not you make this dream a reality is up to you and your boss. Although I would advise exercising extreme caution before proceeding ahead with any kind of involvement with him (for all of the obvious reasons).
All real logistics aside, in the case of sex dreams, I would ask, “Why are you having sex with this person specifically and what might they represent?” Sometimes in dreams we are getting it on with someone we find sexy in real life, but oftentimes it’s with someone we are not attracted to in the least. Sex is a merger of bodies and identities. So what qualities about your boss might you want to inhabit more in your own life and career? Power? Success? Leadership? For example, I had a friend who was complaining about a particularly repulsive string of sex dreams about her boss, who she hates. After exploring the dreams some more, she realized that the dreams were really about how the two of them had opposite work styles that complemented each other. Once she got passed disliking him so much, she realized that they made a good team and was, of course, totally relieved when the sex dreams stopped.
The frequency and intensity of these dreams indicate that they may also be a commentary about how passion, drive, and desire manifest themselves in your life. I don’t know what you do for a living or how fulfilled you feel by it, but the fact that you are having reoccurring dreams about having sex with your boss makes me think you have an extreme attitude about work. Either you feel “orgasmic” about it or you wish you did. And how does your work life compare to your home life? Is it equally fulfilling? How are they unbalanced?
A word of advice: If you can see past your actual sexual desire for your boss to the essence of your attraction to him, there will be a valuable message waiting for you.



So hopefully these sex dreams will disappear if I look past the sex part right? Let's fricking hope so!

Boost up those brochure sales by pimping out your staff!

Well. That is all I have to say. Today was clearly one of those good days, were I don't look like a right mess at work. So it all started with an idea to boost up the Christmas brochures and B4L. I always do badly, that's a given when I'm at work, so here was a tip given to me by a friend...

"Make a sign that for every brochure a customer buys, they will be entered in a draw for a date with a member of staff (the customer can even choose which person). Or just pimp someone out completely"

Yeah cause that will work. Apparantly it does as I am getting pimped out already.

First there was a young gentleman who gave me a flirty smile and was eyeing me up (according to another member of staff), and he was darn good-looking too. Then a boy who must have been about 12 or 13 was a right charmer. He handed me the money with a right swagger calling me darl, yeah his dad taught him well. He will be a right heart-throb when he is older. Bless.

So that was a good day at work. The full day of flirting my way through sales.

Oh as a side note, I also managed to knock down a sign at work by throwing a ball.

All in one day ey.

Just Another Night Out

It was a staff night out and of course there was drama, love life being tested, and of course new secrets to be told. I for one found out many things last night, which was oddly reminiscent of last years staff night. Now I cannot go into too much detail just in case certain eyes read this, but it turns out my secret from last year was not so much a secret at all.Which is a good thing sort of, but I hope things don't get awkward. Though I did enjoy last night considerably more, and I did find out that men are complete perves! I suppose it was my own fault for opening my mouth about tattoos and piercings. Yes I made a tit (haha) out of myself. Hey who cares though cause it was all the drinks' fault.
I wonder what happens the next time I see everyone.

An Apology of Sex

So my last post may have slightly tricked a few people, but this is one is here to make things right. I am aware that many of us lost our virginity between the ages of 14-18. Some probably lost theirs soon as they become interested in girls/boys, some might want to wait for that right person. Yet how many of us can put their hands on their heart and say they fully enjoyed their first time. Not many.
The whole awkwardness of the act combined with young age and probably not knowing their partner very well, doesn't make it a good start for losing your 'v' card.

Now as you get older, and not sleeping your way through the town, sex becomes sort of cherished. Many people my age are just happy with sex being just sex. A primal need. A quickie in a car, or against a wall. But that sensual, soft, worship only comes when you find that right person. That doesn't mean to say that when you find that right person, sex becomes love making, instead you find a balance between love and lust. The quick throes of passion mixed with the long torturous pleasure of love. The way you can tease pleasure and twist it into something special.

Its amazing when you find the things that make your partner go crazy. Soft nip on the ear, the typical biting of the neck, or the grazing of their legs. Many girls and boys have different spots and when you find them, all their control is lost.

That's it for now. I got sidetracked by a memory of mine haha x

Dear Santa

I wish you were real, and not some crazy old weirdo in a suit. 
I think back to how I have yet to see the coca-cola advert and I have came to the conclusion that Christmas is avoiding me this year. I think that I shall be receiving a bag of coal. Not good. Yet I think this year I have behaved quite well in comparison to other years. Like my parents went away and I did not throw a party and wreck the house, I also did not go out drinking all the time and get involved in someone's drama, and I definitely did not spend my time being a bitch like I normally do. So how come I feel this way. Perhaps it is the fact that I have now grown out of Christmas. The songs are now too cheesy and disgusting, I seem to spend a fortune on presents and so all the fun has been sucked out of the season. Oh how I wish I was younger and could appreciate Santa and his miraculous task of sending gifts to every one in the world in the same night. Now that is some task.

So Santa if you are reading this, all I want for Christmas is a bit of fun and laughter, with maybe a few pressies like clothing and perfume and maybe some pretty jewellery.

Thank you :)

Merry Christmas haha x