“Resignation requires will, and will requires decision, and decision
requires belief, and belief requires that there is something to believe
in!”
―
Anne Rice
I never planned on quitting my job; it sort of happened by chance. For what seemed like a solid decision to stay for a third year at my current school, I was easily persuaded by a different future. A future that would allow me to be part of a British Curriculum, to belong to a school that valued its' staff and to show what I can do as a teacher.
Realistically, there is nothing wrong with my current position, being a Lead Teacher of some sort. But it came at a price. The price of my mental state. It wasn't about the money either; pay me what I am worth and that was what mattered to me. It was the constant battle between instinct and duty. It was the constant rejection of improvement that closed the deal. How could I improve myself and my team if I wasn't given the chance? There was no opportunity for change no matter how much they argued for it.
I had many sleepless nights; stressing, worrying over what the next day would bring. So I decided to look down another path, another direction to take. It was that decision that led me straight into a different learning environment. How was I easily persuaded? Well when you think an interview had sucked so bad but you were given an offer of acceptance within 6 hours surely that was a sign.
I am aware that the grass is not always greener on the other side, but maybe this will work out for the best.
Otherwordly
Showing posts with label UAE. Show all posts
Showing posts with label UAE. Show all posts
Friday, 22 May 2015
Saturday, 25 April 2015
The career
“Mr. Franz, I think careers are a 20th century invention and I don't want one.”
― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild
Right now that's how I feel. I don't want to work. I don't want to be tied in a position that I will have to live in for the rest of my life. I don't want to be backed into a corner, explaining all my decisions to someone in a higher positon. To someone who doesn't see me at my best, only my worst.
This past week has had me all distracted. I recently got a promotion at work and now it's left me all dazed. I am no longer in my zone; I don't have the energy to teach anymore. There's no laughter in my voice. Every little thing a child does angers or upsets me. Other teachers have noticed this too. No appetite, loss of weight, clumsiness and being unaware of objects/people around me. Many thought it was because of a boy. I did too. That was until I saw my new job description lying on my apartment floor. Performance will be reviewed. That was it. It was those words that send my mind into a whirlwind of panic. No not panic, more like numbness.
I keep thinking to myself, I am too young for this. 2 years teaching experience is not enough to lead a team. How can anyone take me serious? How can I support a group of teachers if I can barely support myself?
Apparently I can, as I am constantly reminded. You wouldn't have this opportunity if you couldn't do it. Actually I realised the reason why I have this position; it's not because I can help others around me, lead and inspire, but because I helped complete a few administrative tasks - something anybody could do. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time. There are other teachers better suited for the position and I am constantly reminded of that when I see their face, the change in atmosphere when I enter the room or even the comments to the line manager.
It's unfair of me to be ungrateful for this role and I simply must give it time, people time to adjust, and time for me to realise how I can handle this.
The question is: how much time?
Thursday, 22 January 2015
I have a flesh coloured tattoo..
"I drew it myself. You should see it sometime, if only you could see it (it’s invisible)."
I am a ghost, no word of a lie. I'm not a ghost in the typical sense since I am alive,but I do appear to be invisible. The reason for this, let me explain. You see, there have been times when I spend my Thursday or Friday nights out socializing with staff or friends and they have all accused me the day after for not being there. They could have a full blown conversation, but would not remember it the next day.
A similar thing had happened recently. Now I'm not sure how I feel about it. Yes, I laughed it off and was dubbed the 'ghost' but it's starting to wear me down. Am I really that bad at company that I don't make a lasting impression on anyone? All I know is, that besides this little setback, I am still having fun. Last week had been a blast though; accidentally spilling drinks, getting wasted and dancing the night away. I even found a small gap in my schedule to write something. It was during my writing night out that I had been asked if I had written anything on the local band and it got my brain working over-time. Why had I not wrote anything about them? I normally write about every local band I listen to. Was I that scared to erase the memory of the last band? Was I refusing to write a piece in the hope that they would never be as good as the previous? Whatever the reason, I feel as though I need to do a segment now.
Bolt. My initial reaction was that of shock. I hear about them during my summer vacation period. All that was running through my mind when I heard their name was the Miley Cyrus movie with the superstar dog of the same name. Clearly, I had been hanging around children for too long. Yes I was being judgmental; I was yet to here them play and I was still getting used to the idea of a band change. As I have said before, I don't do particularly well with change unless I have control over the situation. I wasn't that nice in my thoughts either. However, once I heard them play the first night I was back in Al Ain, it was nice having that change in music. I became accustomed to listening to the same playlist every Thursday night. I even knew what song would come next. What really surprised me was the change in instruments! I had been told it would be a fun set but I never really expected it to be so. One change was the removal of the Bassist and the introduction of a keyboard player. That was better for me personally. Another, was the saxophone - rather refreshing if I'm honest!
The track-listing had changed too! I heard through the grapevine that they had been told not to play certain songs. It was rather nice to sing a particular song that you hadn't listened to in a while. The band members themselves came from all corners of the globe and brought with them their own personality.
The band members have now changed. A new line up for the new year. In all honesty they seem to fit better together now.
I would like to write more about this band but I simply do not have the inspiration anymore. Even my Saturday night routine has flown out of the window and would rather spend the night sleeping. I guess I lack my muse; the banter and distractions must have provided me with some ability to override the writers block I currently have.
On that note, I will try to write something again soon. My mind is not used to storing all this useless drabble.
I am a ghost, no word of a lie. I'm not a ghost in the typical sense since I am alive,but I do appear to be invisible. The reason for this, let me explain. You see, there have been times when I spend my Thursday or Friday nights out socializing with staff or friends and they have all accused me the day after for not being there. They could have a full blown conversation, but would not remember it the next day.
A similar thing had happened recently. Now I'm not sure how I feel about it. Yes, I laughed it off and was dubbed the 'ghost' but it's starting to wear me down. Am I really that bad at company that I don't make a lasting impression on anyone? All I know is, that besides this little setback, I am still having fun. Last week had been a blast though; accidentally spilling drinks, getting wasted and dancing the night away. I even found a small gap in my schedule to write something. It was during my writing night out that I had been asked if I had written anything on the local band and it got my brain working over-time. Why had I not wrote anything about them? I normally write about every local band I listen to. Was I that scared to erase the memory of the last band? Was I refusing to write a piece in the hope that they would never be as good as the previous? Whatever the reason, I feel as though I need to do a segment now.
Bolt. My initial reaction was that of shock. I hear about them during my summer vacation period. All that was running through my mind when I heard their name was the Miley Cyrus movie with the superstar dog of the same name. Clearly, I had been hanging around children for too long. Yes I was being judgmental; I was yet to here them play and I was still getting used to the idea of a band change. As I have said before, I don't do particularly well with change unless I have control over the situation. I wasn't that nice in my thoughts either. However, once I heard them play the first night I was back in Al Ain, it was nice having that change in music. I became accustomed to listening to the same playlist every Thursday night. I even knew what song would come next. What really surprised me was the change in instruments! I had been told it would be a fun set but I never really expected it to be so. One change was the removal of the Bassist and the introduction of a keyboard player. That was better for me personally. Another, was the saxophone - rather refreshing if I'm honest!
The track-listing had changed too! I heard through the grapevine that they had been told not to play certain songs. It was rather nice to sing a particular song that you hadn't listened to in a while. The band members themselves came from all corners of the globe and brought with them their own personality.
The band members have now changed. A new line up for the new year. In all honesty they seem to fit better together now.
I would like to write more about this band but I simply do not have the inspiration anymore. Even my Saturday night routine has flown out of the window and would rather spend the night sleeping. I guess I lack my muse; the banter and distractions must have provided me with some ability to override the writers block I currently have.
On that note, I will try to write something again soon. My mind is not used to storing all this useless drabble.
Wednesday, 9 April 2014
The End is Near
The end is near. Well for my contract in the Middle East
that is. It is hard to believe that this time last year I had sent off my CV to
a teaching agency on a whim. I wasn’t hoping to get an interview after all I
hadn’t even completed the PCET course. I had a back plan of course – supply
teaching. I didn’t want to raise my hopes for them to be knocked back down. Yet
never in a million years would I have thought of applying for a full-time
teaching position in the Middle East. For me to do that I would have to step
out of my comfort zone and open myself to rejection on a grander scale. Nevertheless I put myself out there and
waited for the inevitable reply. I didn’t have to wait long though. A few days
later and I received an offer letter to be signed and returned as soon as possible. Time after that
seemed to pass in a blink of an eye. A
year on and I am currently going through the same progress – signing an offer
letter for next yet.
The thing that has me most excited is my vacation time in
July. I will be going home. Though I will only be in the UK for four weeks as I
have my very own Euro-trip booked; by Euro-trip I mean Newcastle – Amsterdam –
Rotterdam – Stockholm – Gothenburg. Hopefully my next summer vacation will
include Finland, Hungary and Denmark. When discussing my plans with my family
over skype, my brother appeared and stated I should visit Krakow, Poland. His
reasoning for this, which is horribly amusing, is to see how many Polish live
there since the UK is swarmed with them. Slightly racist brother I have there.
I have been thinking about my plans for the British summer
and I realised I will definitely need to make time for my best friend’s first
new-born baby. I am so ecstatic for her.
It’s surreal that the girl I grew up
with for eleven years is about to be a mother.
She’s all grown up now. It also reminds of my little girl waiting at
home for me – my beautiful nightmare of a niece. I can’t wait to shower her in
kisses and maybe cause some mischief around the town with her. My Lillie-bug is
one hilarious child. I am so grateful that she hasn’t forgotten me.
In other news, someone recently mentioned to me about
remembering me when I have published my work and it got me thinking; why do I
need to publish my work? Is it to earn money? For someone criticise my work
publicly? So everyone knows who I am? If these are the reasons then my answer is no. I write to let my
feelings out. I am not bothered if no-one or everyone reads it. It’s my hobby,
my own pleasure – no-one else’s. I may link my posts on social network sites,
but that is so one of my good friends can read it- and nothing else.
I am currently in the middle of writing a book – continuing
what I had started in university for an assignment. Again this is for me only;
to see what I can accomplish. I remember listening to my English tutor say to
me: “Even if you only write a 100 words a week, you can still write a complete novella or even a novel, but it all
depends on your state of mind and whether you want to finish something you
have started.” This stuck with me for 3 years, but I didn’t return to my story
until recently.
It’s amazing what changes a person can go through without
really knowing. I am still the girl who watches the world rather than
participates, but at the end of the day I know what risks are worth taking and
which choices are simply unrealistic. Whether it’s my upcoming plans for the
summer, or my continuous need to write something, I know life has plenty of
things in store for me.
Well that s enough writing for now,
See you on the other side of the Internet
Melissa
Tuesday, 15 October 2013
Nossa, nossa. Assim você me mata (PG rated version)
Ai, se eu te pego
Ai, ai, se eu te pego
Sitting in the bar, writing these words, I feel like I am almost home. Loud words pounding in my ears, the bass vibrating through my body. Peace. After the day I have endured, the noise and familiarity was welcomed. Today made me look at the cracks in my life and fill them with something new (and not poly-filler as my dad would say to me). New friends, a new career, a new home in the UAE. Well maybe after I get used to the fact that my parents are not here to hold my hand and guide me through life.
At this moment in time a band is playing, well playing mainstream music that I dislike (actually when I have had a few drinks I find myself singing along to anything). However my music opinion aside, the sound that they produce is rather great. In fact they may have introduced me to a song I had never heard of before; the title of this post actually.
With a Bacardi Breezer in one hand and my pen in the other, I am set for the night. To do this sort of writing, the freeing of my emotions and the letting go of what is inside of me, I have left two of my friends outside to drink their vodka. Is it socially acceptable to be all emo and write in a bar when I could do this at home where it is comfortable and warm. To be honest with you all, I am actually quite introvert. The best moments of my life have been when I succumb to the isolation of my own company. I would apologise for the rambling but currently the guitar riffs I hear are trying to help my body lose control, and I need to be careful before I start writing some x-rated story. Yeah that has happened before, but for now lets focus on the band.
Right now it appears to be someone's birthday and the band is getting the whole crowd involved. Scenes like this warm the heart. The song choices are amazing (yes I know I said they were mainstream) and they have also chosen songs that make you stop and think "oh wow. I haven't heard that song in a while". Then all of a sudden your body develops a mind of its own; first the tapping of the foot, then the rhythmic leg bounce and before you know it, your body is upon the dance-floor moving with a spirit so free that it is contagious to everyone around begins to dance -or if you are like me then your are looking like you are having some sort of fit. Ok, back to the band. See, I digress rather easily.
The band is named Diesel, and they are actually a group that can play. I have seen my acts before in local bars and pubs and the song choices are more cheesy kareoke than entertainment. Yet Diesel manages to avoid this and create an atmosphere that is so electric, the rhythm of the music can be felt throughout your body, racing through your veins and hitting your soul in all the right places.
You just have to let go and let the music run through you.
Natasha, or Tash as some people call her, is one of the vocalists. She has a beautiful voice and definitely knows how to start a party in style. Let say girls, she has the best sense of style I have seen in a long time. Though lets not take that away from the amazing voice she has. For someone to vary their style of singing the way she does, is incredible. The moves on that girl in heels whilst she is singing are simple but they capture the attention of both men and women in the room.
Next there is Patrick, another vocalist who looks almost like Bruce Willis. He reminds me of a man with a young boy's soul-so full of life and the ability to range his songs from those before my birth to things like Macklemore's Thrift-Shop. That has got to be a skill.
We also have present a guitarist called Thomas and the bass player named Dean. The way those guys capture your attention through the riffs is astounding. The way they move their fingers...in fact I cannot say what I want to say cause it would be highly indecent and inappropriate for such a review. Though the coordinated outfits would make any woman's hormones go crazy.
Finally we have the drummer - Marcus. You can see the talent in the sounds he produces and the emotions showing on his face. The sound made creates a new version of the song taking it from cheesy pop to almost rock-like and alternative. The way he hits those drums a girl could only imagine. Ok lets try to get this back on to topic before the tone will turn into something completely and unintentionally dirty.
The band look like they actually belong together; like pieces of a jigsaw they fall into the correct place. They also remind me of a snowflake. So unique and beautiful, yet they create a masterpiece when placed next to each other. When you look at a masterpiece, it sometimes brings you close to tears. That is your soul letting you know that you should grasp this moment with both hands and treasure it. That is what the audience should feel when they are in the presence of Diesel. A moment never to forget. Each moment so unique.
I could continue to write this piece for as long as I wanted too, but I could never give the band enough attention and justice they deserve. So I shall end this note rocking out to Linkin Park and ironically it didn't really matter that I was some girl sitting in the corner of a bar writing this. In the end this me. This is the music. This is Diesel.
Ai, ai, se eu te pego
Read more at http://lyricstranslate.com/en/ai-se-eu-te-pego-ah-when-i-get-my-hands-you.html#F770Ovgbk6jU2Upy.99
Ai, ai, se eu te pego
Sitting in the bar, writing these words, I feel like I am almost home. Loud words pounding in my ears, the bass vibrating through my body. Peace. After the day I have endured, the noise and familiarity was welcomed. Today made me look at the cracks in my life and fill them with something new (and not poly-filler as my dad would say to me). New friends, a new career, a new home in the UAE. Well maybe after I get used to the fact that my parents are not here to hold my hand and guide me through life.
At this moment in time a band is playing, well playing mainstream music that I dislike (actually when I have had a few drinks I find myself singing along to anything). However my music opinion aside, the sound that they produce is rather great. In fact they may have introduced me to a song I had never heard of before; the title of this post actually.
With a Bacardi Breezer in one hand and my pen in the other, I am set for the night. To do this sort of writing, the freeing of my emotions and the letting go of what is inside of me, I have left two of my friends outside to drink their vodka. Is it socially acceptable to be all emo and write in a bar when I could do this at home where it is comfortable and warm. To be honest with you all, I am actually quite introvert. The best moments of my life have been when I succumb to the isolation of my own company. I would apologise for the rambling but currently the guitar riffs I hear are trying to help my body lose control, and I need to be careful before I start writing some x-rated story. Yeah that has happened before, but for now lets focus on the band.
Right now it appears to be someone's birthday and the band is getting the whole crowd involved. Scenes like this warm the heart. The song choices are amazing (yes I know I said they were mainstream) and they have also chosen songs that make you stop and think "oh wow. I haven't heard that song in a while". Then all of a sudden your body develops a mind of its own; first the tapping of the foot, then the rhythmic leg bounce and before you know it, your body is upon the dance-floor moving with a spirit so free that it is contagious to everyone around begins to dance -or if you are like me then your are looking like you are having some sort of fit. Ok, back to the band. See, I digress rather easily.
The band is named Diesel, and they are actually a group that can play. I have seen my acts before in local bars and pubs and the song choices are more cheesy kareoke than entertainment. Yet Diesel manages to avoid this and create an atmosphere that is so electric, the rhythm of the music can be felt throughout your body, racing through your veins and hitting your soul in all the right places.
You just have to let go and let the music run through you.
Natasha, or Tash as some people call her, is one of the vocalists. She has a beautiful voice and definitely knows how to start a party in style. Let say girls, she has the best sense of style I have seen in a long time. Though lets not take that away from the amazing voice she has. For someone to vary their style of singing the way she does, is incredible. The moves on that girl in heels whilst she is singing are simple but they capture the attention of both men and women in the room.
Next there is Patrick, another vocalist who looks almost like Bruce Willis. He reminds me of a man with a young boy's soul-so full of life and the ability to range his songs from those before my birth to things like Macklemore's Thrift-Shop. That has got to be a skill.
We also have present a guitarist called Thomas and the bass player named Dean. The way those guys capture your attention through the riffs is astounding. The way they move their fingers...in fact I cannot say what I want to say cause it would be highly indecent and inappropriate for such a review. Though the coordinated outfits would make any woman's hormones go crazy.
Finally we have the drummer - Marcus. You can see the talent in the sounds he produces and the emotions showing on his face. The sound made creates a new version of the song taking it from cheesy pop to almost rock-like and alternative. The way he hits those drums a girl could only imagine. Ok lets try to get this back on to topic before the tone will turn into something completely and unintentionally dirty.
The band look like they actually belong together; like pieces of a jigsaw they fall into the correct place. They also remind me of a snowflake. So unique and beautiful, yet they create a masterpiece when placed next to each other. When you look at a masterpiece, it sometimes brings you close to tears. That is your soul letting you know that you should grasp this moment with both hands and treasure it. That is what the audience should feel when they are in the presence of Diesel. A moment never to forget. Each moment so unique.
I could continue to write this piece for as long as I wanted too, but I could never give the band enough attention and justice they deserve. So I shall end this note rocking out to Linkin Park and ironically it didn't really matter that I was some girl sitting in the corner of a bar writing this. In the end this me. This is the music. This is Diesel.
Ai, se eu te pego,
Ai, ai, se eu te pego
Read more at http://lyricstranslate.com/en/ai-se-eu-te-pego-ah-when-i-get-my-hands-you.html#F770Ovgbk6jU2Upy.99
Ai, ai, se eu te pego
Read more at http://lyricstranslate.com/en/ai-se-eu-te-pego-ah-when-i-get-my-hands-you.html#F770Ovgbk6jU2Upy.99
Ai, se eu te pego,
Ai, ai, se eu te pego
Read more at http://lyricstranslate.com/en/ai-se-eu-te-pego-ah-when-i-get-my-hands-you.html#F770Ovgbk6jU2Upy.99
Ai, ai, se eu te pego
Read more at http://lyricstranslate.com/en/ai-se-eu-te-pego-ah-when-i-get-my-hands-you.html#F770Ovgbk6jU2Upy.99
Ai, se eu te pego,
Ai, ai, se eu te pego
Read more at http://lyricstranslate.com/en/ai-se-eu-te-pego-ah-when-i-get-my-hands-you.html#F770Ovgbk6jU2Upy.99
Ai, ai, se eu te pego
Read more at http://lyricstranslate.com/en/ai-se-eu-te-pego-ah-when-i-get-my-hands-you.html#F770Ovgbk6jU2Upy.99
Ai, se eu te pego,
Ai, ai, se eu te pego
Read more at http://lyricstranslate.com/en/ai-se-eu-te-pego-ah-when-i-get-my-hands-you.html#F770Ovgbk6jU2Upy.99
Ai, se eu te pego,Ai, ai, se eu te pego
Read more at http://lyricstranslate.com/en/ai-se-eu-te-pego-ah-when-i-get-my-hands-you.html#F770Ovgbk6jU2Upy.99
Ai, ai, se eu te pego
Read more at http://lyricstranslate.com/en/ai-se-eu-te-pego-ah-when-i-get-my-hands-you.html#F770Ovgbk6jU2Upy.99
Ai, se eu te pego,
Ai, ai, se eu te pego
Read more at http://lyricstranslate.com/en/ai-se-eu-te-pego-ah-when-i-get-my-hands-you.html#F770Ovgbk6jU2Upy.99
Ai, ai, se eu te pego
Read more at http://lyricstranslate.com/en/ai-se-eu-te-pego-ah-when-i-get-my-hands-you.html#F770Ovgbk6jU2Upy.99
Ai, se eu te pego,
Ai, ai, se eu te pego
Read more at http://lyricstranslate.com/en/ai-se-eu-te-pego-ah-when-i-get-my-hands-you.html#F770Ovgbk6jU2Upy.99
Ai, ai, se eu te pego
Read more at http://lyricstranslate.com/en/ai-se-eu-te-pego-ah-when-i-get-my-hands-you.html#F770Ovgbk6jU2Upy.99
15.10.13
It has been roughly one month and a half since I arrived in Al Ain, and my life has done a complete 360 multiple of times. So lets begin where I left off in my last post which happened to be the first night in my new home. Well what happened after that was simply more than your average emotional roller-coaster.
I decided to a bit of shopping whilst I waited for a fellow UK-er to arrive. This was to be my first grocery trip and what an experience it was. I had no idea what to buy except from water, milk and bread. Do I buy frozen food? But if I do how will I cook it with no actual oven in my room? Do I try and keep away from chocolates and buy fruit instead? Questions were running through my head million miles a second. Though one question was the most important of all...how the heck do I get to the shopping centre? Luckily the accommodation managers had left a get-started kit which included maps to all of the local shops. I decided to take the most uncommon mode of transport someone in the UAE would use to get there - by foot. It was rare for anyone to walk anywhere never mind a female on her own; and I wasn't surprised as to why. The traffic was horrendous and everyone stared at you like you had grown an extra set of arms and legs and had five eyes. Everyone who walked had an immediate neon sign pointing to them saying "look at me I'm walking. Please beep your horn at me and shout random words at me".
I finally managed to make it to Jimi Mall, Al Ain, and I felt at piece. I must have spent roughly about 3 hours in the supermarket itself.
I don't want to be talking about what I did ever second of everyday as have just I realised how much space talking about the supermarket trip had actually taken up. So I will move quickly on to the beginning of the first day at School.
Well the first week was simply a CPD week where I felt like I was actually back at school. You found out who were the nicest people, the ones who liked the sound of their voices and the ones you had to avoid. I had it figured out after about the first day. The second week came and the school had decided to push back the starting date for the children, which for me was a good thing. I wasn't totally ready to teach. Yet after the second week of no children I was getting more anxious as the seconds ticked by. I had a full two weeks of lessons prepared.
Finally the day arrived and I was not expecting the day to go the way it day - or the following weeks for that matter either. Now I do not want to put the exact details about what happened during the days at the school in case this gets into the wrong hands, but lets just say structure, communication, organisation and safety are not the strongest points. One can certainly say there is a lot of spirit there though.
Through all the tears and the tantrums (and that's just from me), I can safely say that some of the children are starting to understand that I am not going anywhere and I will not give up on them - which is what looks like happened to the majority of them last year.
I will end this post on a high note. Though my personal life has hit an all time low, some of my children know how to put a smile on my face. With all the stickers, little messages on scrap pieces of paper and the on bouquet of flowers I received, these children have a lot of happiness in them and I will do whatever it takes to let them shine and grow in wonderful people.
I decided to a bit of shopping whilst I waited for a fellow UK-er to arrive. This was to be my first grocery trip and what an experience it was. I had no idea what to buy except from water, milk and bread. Do I buy frozen food? But if I do how will I cook it with no actual oven in my room? Do I try and keep away from chocolates and buy fruit instead? Questions were running through my head million miles a second. Though one question was the most important of all...how the heck do I get to the shopping centre? Luckily the accommodation managers had left a get-started kit which included maps to all of the local shops. I decided to take the most uncommon mode of transport someone in the UAE would use to get there - by foot. It was rare for anyone to walk anywhere never mind a female on her own; and I wasn't surprised as to why. The traffic was horrendous and everyone stared at you like you had grown an extra set of arms and legs and had five eyes. Everyone who walked had an immediate neon sign pointing to them saying "look at me I'm walking. Please beep your horn at me and shout random words at me".
I finally managed to make it to Jimi Mall, Al Ain, and I felt at piece. I must have spent roughly about 3 hours in the supermarket itself.
I don't want to be talking about what I did ever second of everyday as have just I realised how much space talking about the supermarket trip had actually taken up. So I will move quickly on to the beginning of the first day at School.
Well the first week was simply a CPD week where I felt like I was actually back at school. You found out who were the nicest people, the ones who liked the sound of their voices and the ones you had to avoid. I had it figured out after about the first day. The second week came and the school had decided to push back the starting date for the children, which for me was a good thing. I wasn't totally ready to teach. Yet after the second week of no children I was getting more anxious as the seconds ticked by. I had a full two weeks of lessons prepared.
Finally the day arrived and I was not expecting the day to go the way it day - or the following weeks for that matter either. Now I do not want to put the exact details about what happened during the days at the school in case this gets into the wrong hands, but lets just say structure, communication, organisation and safety are not the strongest points. One can certainly say there is a lot of spirit there though.
Through all the tears and the tantrums (and that's just from me), I can safely say that some of the children are starting to understand that I am not going anywhere and I will not give up on them - which is what looks like happened to the majority of them last year.
I will end this post on a high note. Though my personal life has hit an all time low, some of my children know how to put a smile on my face. With all the stickers, little messages on scrap pieces of paper and the on bouquet of flowers I received, these children have a lot of happiness in them and I will do whatever it takes to let them shine and grow in wonderful people.
Sunday, 1 September 2013
29.08.2013
This was the day that would forever change my life.
I didn’t get much sleep the night before – which is quite
normal when you are anxious for the upcoming events. I woke up on the Thursday
roughly about six am feeling fine. Getting dressed, finishing off my packing,
making sure I had everything and still my stomach was fine. Things were looking
good.
My uncle decided he was driving my mother, grandfather and I
to the airport. This was the first time we had a sort of outing together in a
family; what a time to do it. The journey to Newcastle International was
pleasant enough. The family laughing and chatting away to each other, getting
lost even when using the Sat Nav, everything was great.
Shortly afterwards, we were there. It started to rain. The
rain appeared as soon as we hit the airport and I took that as an omen for what
was going to happen; a bad omen. Since I had checked in online and printed out
my boarding pass already it seemed like everything was going my way. My
checked/cabin luggage weighed under the limit, my visa passed through ok and
soon enough I received my flight ticket. Seat 26C on board the Emirates
aircraft – a seat I had chosen myself.
I said goodbyes to my family just before the security check,
making sure I didn’t cry in front of the family. I’m quite positive that if I
cried, I would back out and head home. Getting my passport ready, I could feel
my heart starting to beat out of my chest. It would appear that my nerves had
finally arrived. Even the Security officer had noticed on my ‘flushed’
appearance. I explained that I hadn’t flown
in five years and in return I received a sympathetic look. This was where my
bad luck decided to shine.
Reaching the luggage control, I placed my items into the
given trays. I even made sure that my laptop was screened separately, my coat
pockets were empty and my jewellery was removed. Time for the scanner, and of
course it decided to beep as I walked through. All I could think of was
fabulous. All I heard after was ‘please remove your shoes and watch’. Watch. Of
course I left my watch on. Five minutes later the female officer had decided I
had been frisked enough and let me through and it was time to collect my
belongings. I quickly tried to repack my cabin bag squeezing everything in, and
then I realised ‘where was my phone at?’ I searched through my bag, my pockets and to
no avail it wasn’t there. Luckily a security officer had found it still in the
tray that someone else had put back.
Finally, after a shaky start, I headed through to the
departure section of the airport. I found my flight on the screens dotted
around and saw that I had plenty of time to relax, to chill out. I headed
towards an empty seat and munched on the sandwiches I had made earlier that
day. As much as I wanted to feel relaxed, my mind simply wouldn’t let me. My
hands were all shaky and sweaty. My stomach all twisted and knotted. My heart
exploding in my chest was the final straw. I headed round to the entrance of
the departure gates and rang my mum. I had five minutes to go and even she
wasn’t enough of a comfort to me.
Flight EK036 to Dubai is now boarding at gate 26.
Making my way down the stairs, my nerves were reaching an
all-time high. Alone, scared, nervous – not a good combination. Then a tear
escaped. Not now. Please don’t cry in
front of all these people I told myself.
After what felt like a long moment in time, my seat number was called.
This was it; time to get on that plane. As soon as I hit the fresh air, more
tears made their way down my cheek. I wanted to run back inside. Did I have to fly? I hated flying to
begin with, but when flying with family it was almost easier. Here I had no-one
and I was to be sat beside two strangers. I finally made it up the wobbly steps
to the plane and to my seat; the tears had finally subsided. For how long though? I tried to focus on
the screen in front of me, and even that seemed to mock me. Since technology
had improved, the aircraft designers thought that they would install cameras
around the outside of the plane so the passengers could watch the world pass
by.
13.35 and it was time to take
off. Well soon as the plane was moved into position on the runway, I broke
down. I quietly cried into my scarf trying to disguise my emotions. It must
have been more obvious than I thought as one air hostess tried to give me a
reassuring smile from the other side of the plane, and one male cabin crew put
his hand on my shoulder and asked ‘Are
you okay honey’. I simply nodded my head. It was all I could manage without
screaming ‘get me off this plane!’
Newcastle airport started to
speed past as the plan made its way up in the air. My stomach dropped as I
realised there was no going back now. The stranger next to me patted my on the
arm and said ‘it’s okay, you will be
fine’. I explained the situation I
was in and suddenly I felt fine. Sure the nervousness of flying was there, but
every word the lady next to me had said reassured me.
Seven hours had finally gone by
and it was time to land. I didn’t cry much on the way back down to the ground,
but as the wheels hit the runaway I panicked. I remember all the previous
landings I had ever been a part of but not once was there a screech of the
wheels hitting the tarmac and the plane swaying to one side. You could actually
feel the plane tip slightly as the pilot tried to steady its balance. I would be grateful when my feet would feel
the ground again.
Skipping ahead a few minutes of
getting lost, I made my way towards passport control. Half an hour later it was
my turn for my passport to be checked. Due to the nature of my eye-sight I have
to wear glasses, but it was clear this was inappropriate for me to do at this
moment in time. To make sure the person in the passport was definitely me, I
had to remove the glasses and have my face run a smart facial recognition programme.
The officer stamped my visa and my passport and I was on my way. Just as I
entered terminal 5 at baggage claim, I saw my suitcase make its way around the
carousel. The timing couldn’t be any more perfect. And as luck would have it, the bad luck came
flying through.
I had been told previously that a
member of staff would be collecting me from the airport, but what they had
failed to mention was where he/she would be meeting me exactly. Well after two
hours of searching, crying, stressing and panicking I found my name amongst the
crowd. The person definitely was not happy to see me. ‘Two hours I wait for you’. I just apologised and said I got lost.
What more could I do. Turn back the time? The journey from Dubai International
to my accommodation was unpleasant and scary. The driver was a maniac –
swerving on the roads, nearly swiping the sides of other cars and driving with
no hands sometimes. I sure felt like my time was up and I was to die on the
roads of the UAE.
Ninety minutes later I had
arrived at Madar School Accommodation. It was 4am before I reached room 116. I
was happy just to have a bed at that moment in time. Locking the door behind
and dumping my suitcase in the middle of the floor, I collapsed on the bed.
That was enough for one night.
Monday, 26 August 2013
It's only the beginning
You see there's no real ending
It's only the beginning
So this is it. The wait has dwindled down from three months to just three days. Three more sunrises and it will be time. Time to start my new beginning. A new life in a new city, a new country, a new continent. But where did this all begin?
A year ago I decided to put all my career options into a hat and let the fates decide my path. The options ranged from being an editor to a teacher. The latter became the answer. After submitting a personal statement and going through all the difficulties of UCAS once again, deciding which universities to apply for and what aspect of teaching I wanted to do, I received an unconditional offer from the University of Teesside. Of course I had to attend an interview, which wasn't all that stressful, but I accepted the offer. It seemed almost too perfect. A few months later I was opening my letter saying that I had been given a place on the PGCE PC/ET course starting in September 2012. This was it. The start of a new career path.
It was here that I found that it was too good to be true. Not in the sense that it was a scam or anything negative, but my bad luck decided to rear its' ugly head. It took until December for my placement to be sorted out, others had been sorted months before hand. So after countless security checks I was finally ready to start putting what I had learned so far into practice. However January 9th saw another setback to my teacher training. A last minute decision to celebrate my new placement happened to include an emergency trip to the a&e. It turned out I had broken my foot. This caused another six week delay to reaching my 100 hour target.
Yet after all this I didn't give up. I had to keep my spirits up and achieve something. And I did. 102.4 hours later I had finally reached the target. I completed all the assignments and everything else that was asked of me. Though there was one more thing I had to do - find a job. So I applied to a local teaching agency ready to start work as a supply teacher. One day fate decided to step in and through me in a different direction. Overseas Teaching.
This was not something I considered at all. Yes, I had fantasies of living in Australia or somewhere in America; but they were only fantasies. A particular agency in the UK was advertising a range of positions across the globe, and suddenly I found my fingers clicking away on the laptop applying for the advertised roles. Qatar, Kuwait, Egypt, UAE. It would be the UAE that would change my life. For better or worse, I cannot say. After all the interviews, communication breakdowns and endless researching, I finally became a English teacher to Grade 3 and Grade 4 pupils attending a private school in Al Ain, UAE.
This is my beginning. I finally enter my new life on Thursday 29th August 2013. It will be here where I will post my ups and downs, my adventures, my mishaps.
It's only the beginning
So this is it. The wait has dwindled down from three months to just three days. Three more sunrises and it will be time. Time to start my new beginning. A new life in a new city, a new country, a new continent. But where did this all begin?
A year ago I decided to put all my career options into a hat and let the fates decide my path. The options ranged from being an editor to a teacher. The latter became the answer. After submitting a personal statement and going through all the difficulties of UCAS once again, deciding which universities to apply for and what aspect of teaching I wanted to do, I received an unconditional offer from the University of Teesside. Of course I had to attend an interview, which wasn't all that stressful, but I accepted the offer. It seemed almost too perfect. A few months later I was opening my letter saying that I had been given a place on the PGCE PC/ET course starting in September 2012. This was it. The start of a new career path.
It was here that I found that it was too good to be true. Not in the sense that it was a scam or anything negative, but my bad luck decided to rear its' ugly head. It took until December for my placement to be sorted out, others had been sorted months before hand. So after countless security checks I was finally ready to start putting what I had learned so far into practice. However January 9th saw another setback to my teacher training. A last minute decision to celebrate my new placement happened to include an emergency trip to the a&e. It turned out I had broken my foot. This caused another six week delay to reaching my 100 hour target.
Yet after all this I didn't give up. I had to keep my spirits up and achieve something. And I did. 102.4 hours later I had finally reached the target. I completed all the assignments and everything else that was asked of me. Though there was one more thing I had to do - find a job. So I applied to a local teaching agency ready to start work as a supply teacher. One day fate decided to step in and through me in a different direction. Overseas Teaching.
This was not something I considered at all. Yes, I had fantasies of living in Australia or somewhere in America; but they were only fantasies. A particular agency in the UK was advertising a range of positions across the globe, and suddenly I found my fingers clicking away on the laptop applying for the advertised roles. Qatar, Kuwait, Egypt, UAE. It would be the UAE that would change my life. For better or worse, I cannot say. After all the interviews, communication breakdowns and endless researching, I finally became a English teacher to Grade 3 and Grade 4 pupils attending a private school in Al Ain, UAE.
This is my beginning. I finally enter my new life on Thursday 29th August 2013. It will be here where I will post my ups and downs, my adventures, my mishaps.
Monday, 27 May 2013
Emigrating: 2 Months to go
In response to my leaving, I have decided to spend the rest of my random blogging days talking about my upcoming move. However, my mind is now determined to make me actually realise what I am about to do.The reason for my move is that I have accepted a teaching job in Madar International School teaching English (The actual subject - in the British Curriculum) to Grade 4 learners. The school looks amazing. So I have compiled a pro's and con's list to me emigrating 4165 miles
across the world to Al Ain (yes I have told people it's Dubai, but that
is the nearest city that people would know) in the UAE.
PRO'S:
So for the next two months I will be gong through all the necessary checks, medical included. Hopefully I wont contract HIV/Aids or TB in the following months. That will definitely ruin my plans. It is now just a waiting game. Waiting for the contract to be signed, attested and then I shall be heading the airport to collect my tickets. Not long now. Maybe in another month I shall update my progress. I have packed some of my checked-luggage, and part of my hand-luggage. Just need to buy a few more things (including a suitcase) and I shall be sorted. Oh and I must definitely not forget the sun block...I'd hate to turn into a lobster straight away.
PRO'S:
- It will be a 'once in a lifetime' experience
- Get to live another culture
- Finally grow up and become independent
- Have a secure job
- All expenses paid for
- Again 4165 miles away is a lot when I may need mummy or daddy
- I will have to leave my family behind
- Covering up all the time will be a pain (at first)
- I will be on my own in a foreign country
- I hate flying
- I hate injections
So for the next two months I will be gong through all the necessary checks, medical included. Hopefully I wont contract HIV/Aids or TB in the following months. That will definitely ruin my plans. It is now just a waiting game. Waiting for the contract to be signed, attested and then I shall be heading the airport to collect my tickets. Not long now. Maybe in another month I shall update my progress. I have packed some of my checked-luggage, and part of my hand-luggage. Just need to buy a few more things (including a suitcase) and I shall be sorted. Oh and I must definitely not forget the sun block...I'd hate to turn into a lobster straight away.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)