Song playing: The Ballad of Mona Lisa - Panic! at the Disco
Sitting in the corner of the bar, she was invisible; the ghost, as many liked to call her. It was how she liked it, alone with no-one to bother her will small talk and awkwardness. No-one to annoy her with unoriginal line. Yet she found herself waiting - waiting for him to arrive. He was the opposite of her. He was alive.
He was late today. Normally that wouldn't bother her, but she had a task to complete and unfortunately, she needed him. He didn't need to know that part though. She checked all the times around her: the wall, the phone, the wrist - all the same. What was taking him so long? Time was clearly not on her side today.
Finally, after minutes passing of her deciding upon her next move, the familiar creak of the door was heard. As much as she disliked it, he made her feel something- passionate, alive, though she could never speak to him. As a result, people call her intimidating, a bitch, a snob. In fact she is none of those, she just finds it hard to speak to people - anxiety, fear of rejection play heavily upon her.
Instead she prefers to be alone, sitting at a table listening to his voice. His voice gave her all the power she needed. The ability to put pen to paper and create. He maybe an entertainer to the crowd but to her, to her he was her muse. Across the months she has had many muses, but they wilt rather quickly. Would he dry up in the desert sun, or will he set her mind alight?
Otherwordly
Showing posts with label memory. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memory. Show all posts
Saturday, 20 February 2016
Sunday, 3 November 2013
I see hell in your eyes
Taken in by surprise
Touching you makes me feel alive
Touching you makes me die inside
Slept so Long - Jay Gordon (Queen of the Damned OST)
Saturday night. A night were I would normally spend it planning for the lessons the next day. However, on a rare occasion I had the Sunday off. To celebrate this, me and a few of my fellow friends decided to have a night out; and as per usual we ended up in Paco's. What a surprise! Though hindsight would have been a useful thing to have before I went out. My first omen was drinking wine. Wine is my weakness, my kryptonite. Seriously it makes me so emotional that I cry at everything and anything.
1) 'First cry of the night' award goes to Diesel band and their rendition of Red, Red, Wine (UB40). Sorry guys, but being far away from my parents I was bound to get homesick at some point and unfortunately this was the moment in time were it would decide to appear. My dad. Yes I am a daddy's girl and this song reminded me of him. Whenever this song would be played I could always guess the next words that come out of his mouth "do you know what UB40 stands for?" and if I said no it was result in a long conversation about the 'Unemployment Benefit, Form 40'. My dad has to have the last word and always has to be right. That my friends is where I get my stubbornness from and my bitchy attitude.
2) 'Worst cry of the night' award goes to getting my extensions caught in my hair. Normally it wouldn't bother me getting my hair all tangled up since it happens on a daily occasion. However, add alcohol and pent up frustration to the mix then tears will be the end result. A very pitiful thing to cry at, something I am sure of.
3) 'Very emotional cry of the night' award for the second time goes to Diesel band. Other nights I have listened to them perform Zombie (The Cranberries) and Linkin Park my mind just lost it. Too many memories came flooding back at once and the tears just poured. Childhood memories, recent memories, family, friends, those I left behind. Homesickness what something I thought I would experience at random intervals during my time here.
For now I will be staying away from the wine and stick to other drinks and hopefully the emotional roller-coaster will subside.
Melissa
Touching you makes me feel alive
Touching you makes me die inside
Slept so Long - Jay Gordon (Queen of the Damned OST)
Saturday night. A night were I would normally spend it planning for the lessons the next day. However, on a rare occasion I had the Sunday off. To celebrate this, me and a few of my fellow friends decided to have a night out; and as per usual we ended up in Paco's. What a surprise! Though hindsight would have been a useful thing to have before I went out. My first omen was drinking wine. Wine is my weakness, my kryptonite. Seriously it makes me so emotional that I cry at everything and anything.
1) 'First cry of the night' award goes to Diesel band and their rendition of Red, Red, Wine (UB40). Sorry guys, but being far away from my parents I was bound to get homesick at some point and unfortunately this was the moment in time were it would decide to appear. My dad. Yes I am a daddy's girl and this song reminded me of him. Whenever this song would be played I could always guess the next words that come out of his mouth "do you know what UB40 stands for?" and if I said no it was result in a long conversation about the 'Unemployment Benefit, Form 40'. My dad has to have the last word and always has to be right. That my friends is where I get my stubbornness from and my bitchy attitude.
2) 'Worst cry of the night' award goes to getting my extensions caught in my hair. Normally it wouldn't bother me getting my hair all tangled up since it happens on a daily occasion. However, add alcohol and pent up frustration to the mix then tears will be the end result. A very pitiful thing to cry at, something I am sure of.
3) 'Very emotional cry of the night' award for the second time goes to Diesel band. Other nights I have listened to them perform Zombie (The Cranberries) and Linkin Park my mind just lost it. Too many memories came flooding back at once and the tears just poured. Childhood memories, recent memories, family, friends, those I left behind. Homesickness what something I thought I would experience at random intervals during my time here.
For now I will be staying away from the wine and stick to other drinks and hopefully the emotional roller-coaster will subside.
Melissa
Monday, 8 July 2013
One month to go...
It really amazes me how each day has the same amount of seconds, minutes and hours, yet they pass by quicker than the last. It only felt like a few days ago when I received an email containing an
'acceptance of the offer' letter. In fact I signed the form little over a month ago. It seems that life is going so fast that my mind cannot comprehend what is happening.
There is one thing that keeps me up awake, making the night last longer; and that is all the people I will miss.
1) My mum - I will miss the 10am wake up call that she manages to give me every morning. I will miss the annoying 'just checking your still alive' phone calls. I will miss the snarky and bitchy comments we make at each other when one of us is clearly not in the mood. Yet most of all I will miss her warmth and love that a mother gives her child.
2) My dad - I don't really see him that much due to him working away all the time but I will miss the comments he gives when we do unite... (so you're a dumb blonde now...by your putting on the weight and so on). I will miss the arguments were one of us has to be right no matter what. I will definitely miss getting my random hugs from him when I'm feeling down, lonely, or even just bored.
3) My brother - He may have his own family now, and his own house, but I will miss the random phone calls, his way of conning lifts from me, and all the dead arms I receive when trying to beat him up. I know Jacqueline and Lillie will keep him occupied.
4) My niece -I will miss the way she says 'missa'. I will miss all of her little attitudes she has. I will miss her hugs and kisses and the way she wakes me up in the morning. I will miss her little laugh and her demanding ways.
I could go on like this with everyone in my family, and those that I hold dear to my heart. I will miss the new friends I made throughout my time at school, college and university (both under and post- grad). I will miss my annoying but amusing colleagues from work. I definitely will not miss the early phonecalls asking to come in asap or the phonecalls at night changing shifts. But my time there has been wonderful.
There are people at work who I will miss more then some (sorry) but that's due to the time spent with each individual. There will be one person I will definitely miss. Their ability to make me laugh when I'm annoyed, their acceptance of my bitchy nature or my attitude when I'm on coffee or had no sleep.
It is crazy how many people enter and leave your life all the time, but the memories created along the way will serve me a lifetime of happiness.
Am I ready to go out in to the world alone? - no, but I will do my darn hardest to make the most of what life has given me.
'acceptance of the offer' letter. In fact I signed the form little over a month ago. It seems that life is going so fast that my mind cannot comprehend what is happening.
There is one thing that keeps me up awake, making the night last longer; and that is all the people I will miss.
1) My mum - I will miss the 10am wake up call that she manages to give me every morning. I will miss the annoying 'just checking your still alive' phone calls. I will miss the snarky and bitchy comments we make at each other when one of us is clearly not in the mood. Yet most of all I will miss her warmth and love that a mother gives her child.
2) My dad - I don't really see him that much due to him working away all the time but I will miss the comments he gives when we do unite... (so you're a dumb blonde now...by your putting on the weight and so on). I will miss the arguments were one of us has to be right no matter what. I will definitely miss getting my random hugs from him when I'm feeling down, lonely, or even just bored.
3) My brother - He may have his own family now, and his own house, but I will miss the random phone calls, his way of conning lifts from me, and all the dead arms I receive when trying to beat him up. I know Jacqueline and Lillie will keep him occupied.
4) My niece -I will miss the way she says 'missa'. I will miss all of her little attitudes she has. I will miss her hugs and kisses and the way she wakes me up in the morning. I will miss her little laugh and her demanding ways.
I could go on like this with everyone in my family, and those that I hold dear to my heart. I will miss the new friends I made throughout my time at school, college and university (both under and post- grad). I will miss my annoying but amusing colleagues from work. I definitely will not miss the early phonecalls asking to come in asap or the phonecalls at night changing shifts. But my time there has been wonderful.
There are people at work who I will miss more then some (sorry) but that's due to the time spent with each individual. There will be one person I will definitely miss. Their ability to make me laugh when I'm annoyed, their acceptance of my bitchy nature or my attitude when I'm on coffee or had no sleep.
It is crazy how many people enter and leave your life all the time, but the memories created along the way will serve me a lifetime of happiness.
Am I ready to go out in to the world alone? - no, but I will do my darn hardest to make the most of what life has given me.
Monday, 10 December 2012
It's Not the End of the World.
Or is it?
Well according to my dream, it may well be.
It was any other normal day at work, just casually pretending to do something productive, when I randomly answer my phone in the middle of the store. It was my brother calling stating that my mother wanted me to come and spend the last final hours on Earth with her. I must have known before I went to work that the world was going to end as I simply told her to calm down and look after my brother, I was going to be ok. All of a sudden my dream flashed to the sun burning in all its glory heading into the Earth's atmosphere. It was near. I knew it, and so did my bosses. Yet we chose to spend our last moments arranging the clothing rails in order. I sent a final text to my mother saying I loved her, and that we will meet again somewhere. I told my boss that this was where I wanted to be and that I enjoyed working. Me, a female boss, and a male boss seemed to have come to terms with the fact that death was near, since we appeared to be calm. We appeared to be content.
Then I woke up. I was slightly worried that this was really going to happen, and I got myself into a real tizz about it. After a few moments, being real close to tears and scared for my life, I burst out laughing. Not only have had this dream before, and I noticed it was december 2012, my crush had appearend in this dream. That's when I knew I should never eat before going to sleep.
Well according to my dream, it may well be.
It was any other normal day at work, just casually pretending to do something productive, when I randomly answer my phone in the middle of the store. It was my brother calling stating that my mother wanted me to come and spend the last final hours on Earth with her. I must have known before I went to work that the world was going to end as I simply told her to calm down and look after my brother, I was going to be ok. All of a sudden my dream flashed to the sun burning in all its glory heading into the Earth's atmosphere. It was near. I knew it, and so did my bosses. Yet we chose to spend our last moments arranging the clothing rails in order. I sent a final text to my mother saying I loved her, and that we will meet again somewhere. I told my boss that this was where I wanted to be and that I enjoyed working. Me, a female boss, and a male boss seemed to have come to terms with the fact that death was near, since we appeared to be calm. We appeared to be content.
Then I woke up. I was slightly worried that this was really going to happen, and I got myself into a real tizz about it. After a few moments, being real close to tears and scared for my life, I burst out laughing. Not only have had this dream before, and I noticed it was december 2012, my crush had appearend in this dream. That's when I knew I should never eat before going to sleep.
Monday, 19 November 2012
Sweet Dreams are Made of Sex and Music
At least you'll have nice thoughts of me
When I'm cheating on you in your dreams
I told you before, my closet's clean
And that these bones don't belong to me
-Playing the Blame Game by You Me at Six
So without further ado.....
Dream number 1
This one night I find myself reliving a staff night out and meeting this stranger across the dance floor. Now some of you may remember the events from a previous post about secrets being made, however the person in those secrets was not my mystery stranger. In fact, this person just happened to be my new crush, maybe it was because of the dream that he became my crush I am not sure but anyway back to the dream. So there I was mid dance with my colleagues from work when this stranger made his way towards me; exactly how a lion stalks his prey. His eyes pierced mine, silently hypnotising me. His hand slowly extended closer to mine, gripping tightly so I could never run. All of a sudden I was pulled into a hold that had me captive. I could not escape, not that I wanted to it seemed. The world around me disappeared, it was just me and my beautiful predator. His hold of me felt tighter and tighter, no space between us. The next thing I knew I was laying on my back, on a soft cloud with him above me. With his hand softly stroking my cheek, he whispered words of velvet seduction. His gaze caressed my body, making me feel like I was covered in silk.....
And that's were I'm leaving it, as I am not particularly into writing public x-rated words. I think that you know what happens next. Oh and a side note, my crush is not a stranger, but a beautiful and condescending prick.
When I'm cheating on you in your dreams
I told you before, my closet's clean
And that these bones don't belong to me
-Playing the Blame Game by You Me at Six
So without further ado.....
Dream number 1
This one night I find myself reliving a staff night out and meeting this stranger across the dance floor. Now some of you may remember the events from a previous post about secrets being made, however the person in those secrets was not my mystery stranger. In fact, this person just happened to be my new crush, maybe it was because of the dream that he became my crush I am not sure but anyway back to the dream. So there I was mid dance with my colleagues from work when this stranger made his way towards me; exactly how a lion stalks his prey. His eyes pierced mine, silently hypnotising me. His hand slowly extended closer to mine, gripping tightly so I could never run. All of a sudden I was pulled into a hold that had me captive. I could not escape, not that I wanted to it seemed. The world around me disappeared, it was just me and my beautiful predator. His hold of me felt tighter and tighter, no space between us. The next thing I knew I was laying on my back, on a soft cloud with him above me. With his hand softly stroking my cheek, he whispered words of velvet seduction. His gaze caressed my body, making me feel like I was covered in silk.....
And that's were I'm leaving it, as I am not particularly into writing public x-rated words. I think that you know what happens next. Oh and a side note, my crush is not a stranger, but a beautiful and condescending prick.
Closure
Today's post is a letter to someone who I know will most definitely read this. However if they don't its fine. It's more of a letter of closure. A way to forget the past.
"Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together."
by Unknown
I'm not sorry for loving you, but I am sorry for not loving you enough to try and make it work. It's hard for me to make things work when you label the relationship. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you to your face its over, but I'm not sorry for leaving you. There is no point in writing harsh words, or airing dirty secrets; but I have no choice to say what I have to. I can't invest in making time for something that has been on and off for three years. If it never worked then, we should have walked away from each other years ago. For the sake of my heart its why I'm walking away now. You deserve to be happy, with someone who loves you the right way. So maybe I'll see you around one day and I'll say hi, but for now you are no longer going to be running through my head. It's time for me to focus on my life and not the what-ifs that you come with.
Im sorry
"Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together."
by Unknown
I'm not sorry for loving you, but I am sorry for not loving you enough to try and make it work. It's hard for me to make things work when you label the relationship. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you to your face its over, but I'm not sorry for leaving you. There is no point in writing harsh words, or airing dirty secrets; but I have no choice to say what I have to. I can't invest in making time for something that has been on and off for three years. If it never worked then, we should have walked away from each other years ago. For the sake of my heart its why I'm walking away now. You deserve to be happy, with someone who loves you the right way. So maybe I'll see you around one day and I'll say hi, but for now you are no longer going to be running through my head. It's time for me to focus on my life and not the what-ifs that you come with.
Im sorry
Saturday, 3 November 2012
Just Another Night Out
It was a staff night out and of course there was drama, love life being tested, and of course new secrets to be told. I for one found out many things last night, which was oddly reminiscent of last years staff night. Now I cannot go into too much detail just in case certain eyes read this, but it turns out my secret from last year was not so much a secret at all.Which is a good thing sort of, but I hope things don't get awkward. Though I did enjoy last night considerably more, and I did find out that men are complete perves! I suppose it was my own fault for opening my mouth about tattoos and piercings. Yes I made a tit (haha) out of myself. Hey who cares though cause it was all the drinks' fault.
I wonder what happens the next time I see everyone.
I wonder what happens the next time I see everyone.
Monday, 5 December 2011
Saturday Night.
This year it seems as though I havent spent much time out drinking, though that wa probably due to money issues and a bad liver. However I thought I'd treat myself and join in with the staff xmas night out. And let me tell you this, it was a great night out.
There were a few revelations with people's feelings, though what night out doesnt have those. I met a few nice and happy people, and got pissed of with the staff at The Cooper Rose. Im a regular there and I get asked for ID. WTF!. Nevermind, if I see the guy today I'm gonna kick some butt.
My boss has lost her camera somewhere and so I have the wonderful privilege of searching for it. Need some luck for that like haha. Im sure I will fail.
Also, I decided to wear my new sparkly heels. Now they were pretty darn comfy for the height of them but let me tell you something: I dont have a fricking clue what happened to me but my legs are killing me. I don't now whether it was my shoes' fault or my own by pulling muscles in both legs.Im in agony and im confused cause its never happened begore. Most likelies old age getting to me.
On the train this morning I randomly flicked through my camera pics and stumbled across one from the night out. Now, I can remember everything from that night out, but I cannot remember taking that photo. In fact I know I never took it, someone else did. So who the hell did I give my phone too. I don't think I will ever find out. Yet one thing I do know, is that im not a pretty drunk, I'm a mess. Whoop!
Roll on the next night out :)
There were a few revelations with people's feelings, though what night out doesnt have those. I met a few nice and happy people, and got pissed of with the staff at The Cooper Rose. Im a regular there and I get asked for ID. WTF!. Nevermind, if I see the guy today I'm gonna kick some butt.
My boss has lost her camera somewhere and so I have the wonderful privilege of searching for it. Need some luck for that like haha. Im sure I will fail.
Also, I decided to wear my new sparkly heels. Now they were pretty darn comfy for the height of them but let me tell you something: I dont have a fricking clue what happened to me but my legs are killing me. I don't now whether it was my shoes' fault or my own by pulling muscles in both legs.Im in agony and im confused cause its never happened begore. Most likelies old age getting to me.
On the train this morning I randomly flicked through my camera pics and stumbled across one from the night out. Now, I can remember everything from that night out, but I cannot remember taking that photo. In fact I know I never took it, someone else did. So who the hell did I give my phone too. I don't think I will ever find out. Yet one thing I do know, is that im not a pretty drunk, I'm a mess. Whoop!
Roll on the next night out :)
Monday, 29 August 2011
The Places I Want to Visit
There are so many places that I want to visit while I can. To see the many wonders out there and to take many beautiful photos, and create many beautiful memories.
Here are a few:
PARIS
HELSINKI
ROME
So those are a few to name at the moment, though I am certain there will be many more places added to my list soon enough :)
x
Here are a few:
PARIS
HELSINKI
ROME
x
Tuesday, 9 August 2011
Dream a Little Dream...
I was walking around Sunderland station with a very old friend of mine when a sheet of paper on the floor caught my eye. It seemed like a perfectly clear, perfectly square piece of paper. But upon inspection, it had little bits of glitter in the corner. My friend decided to rub the paper and some random guy (from 90210) appeared an explained that he needed a task doing. For me to go back in time and change an event. So my friend decided that this piece of paper also allowed you to choose where you wanted to go. Now for the mode of transport that sent you back in time was the NE Metro. How fancy! On this train was some other friends (who they where I do not know), and they sent me to Newcastle. Soon as I was there, I was getting shot at by thugs in cars, on bikes, pedestrians. I managed to avoid each gun shot and chased a shooter into a little shop. I grabbed him by the throat and asked him what the hell he was shooting me for. Turns out the guy who gave me this piece of paper wanted me killed. Well tough luck! I strolled out of the shop and went over the road to the Police Station where I asked to file a complaint against a killer :S. She asked for my national insurance number (which turned out to be my Student Reference Number). All of a sudden I was back in my normal Timeline. I then found out that the Guy who wanted me killed was handing out these Time sheets to people who knew me to go back in time to kill me. I started shouting and screaming at the Camera men calling this guy a traitor and other expletives:P That guy then came over and said "don't be to hard on me...you know how it is" What a dick. I then tried to find my friends on the Metro Time Machine by using a map similar to the Marauder's Map in Harry Potter. But since they where in a different time line. No such luck. I decided to go home and caught up with my brother. I found out he had one of those Time paper things and he had used it. So I went ballistic and starting shouting at him " Why the hell did you do that for? Don't you ever go back in time. I Don't want things to change, nothing is supposed to change. Things happen for a reason!" ...
And then my neighbour's phone woke me up at 6.37am. Not a happy bunny. Though I wonder if it means anything... :/ x x
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)