The Resignation

“Resignation requires will, and will requires decision, and decision requires belief, and belief requires that there is something to believe in!”
― Anne Rice


I never planned on quitting my job; it sort of happened by chance. For what seemed like a solid decision to stay for a third year at my current school, I was easily persuaded by a different future. A future that would allow me to be part of a British Curriculum, to belong to a school that valued its' staff and to show what I can do as a teacher.

Realistically, there is nothing wrong with my current position, being a Lead Teacher of some sort. But it came at a price. The price of my mental state. It wasn't about the money either; pay me what I am worth and that was what mattered to me. It was the constant battle between instinct and duty. It was the constant rejection of improvement that closed the deal. How could I improve myself and my team if I wasn't given the chance? There was no opportunity for change no matter how much they argued for it. 

I had many sleepless nights; stressing, worrying over what the next day would bring. So I decided to look down another path, another direction to take. It was that decision that led me straight into a different learning environment. How was I easily persuaded? Well when you think an interview had sucked so bad but you were given an offer of acceptance within 6 hours surely that was a sign.

I am aware that the grass is not always greener on the other side, but maybe this will work out for the best.

The Illness

“No disease suffered by a live man can be known, for every living person has his own peculiarities and always has his own peculiar, personal, novel, complicated disease, unknown to medicine -- not a disease of the lungs, liver, skin, heart, nerves, and so on mentioned in medical books, but a disease consisting of one of the innumerable combinations of the maladies of those organs."
                                                                    Lee Tolstoy

Every day is an ongoing battle with different problems to overcome. An individual’s ailment will be different from the next; mental, physical and so on. Her battle was supposed to disappear, to be hidden from the world but as luck would have it, the world knew within moments. Strangers would stop and ask how she was and she would respond the same each time – “I’m ok. Still alive”. Not many found that as humorous as she did. Humor was all she had. Without it she would fall deep underground into a world of sadness.

What is her illness you may be asking yourself right now. Well it is hard to explain. How do you possibly tell someone that you are ill but your are not sure what is wrong? There is something wrong, the doctors, some, and her closest friends know something is amiss. Others gossip about ‘sympathy’ and ‘attention seeking’. Most doctors mutter the word  neurological,  perhaps cerebral without offering a reason to help understand. All she knows is that a stroke like episode happened and has turned her world upside down.
Body numbness, loss of motor control, tingling, tiredness, stress, the list is endless. The suggested diagnoses are not much help either: cerebral vascular accident, multiple sclerosis, dyspepsia, presentation confusion and so on.

With no sign of a correct diagnosis all she can do is pray she lives to see another day.

15.10.13

It has been roughly one month and a half since I arrived in Al Ain, and my life has done a complete 360 multiple of times. So lets begin where I left off in my last post which happened to be the first night in my new home. Well what happened after that was simply more than your average emotional roller-coaster.

I decided to a bit of shopping whilst I waited for a fellow UK-er to arrive. This was to be my first grocery trip and what an experience it was. I had no idea what to buy except from water, milk and bread. Do I buy frozen food? But if I do how will I cook it with no actual oven in my room? Do I try and keep away from chocolates and buy fruit instead? Questions were running through my head million miles a second. Though one question was the most important of all...how the heck do I get to the shopping centre? Luckily the accommodation managers had left a get-started kit which included maps to all of the local shops. I decided to take the most uncommon mode of transport someone in the UAE would use to get there - by foot. It was rare for anyone to walk anywhere never mind a female on her own; and I wasn't surprised as to why. The traffic was horrendous and everyone stared at you like you had grown an extra set of arms and legs and had five eyes. Everyone who walked had an immediate neon sign pointing to them saying "look at me I'm walking. Please beep your horn at me and shout random words at me".

I finally managed to make it to Jimi Mall, Al Ain, and I felt at piece. I must have spent roughly about 3 hours in the supermarket itself.

I don't want to be talking about what I did ever second of everyday as have just I realised how much space talking about the supermarket trip had actually taken up. So I will move quickly on to the beginning of the first day at School.

Well the first week was simply a CPD week where I felt like I was actually back at school. You found out who were the nicest people, the ones who liked the sound of their voices and the ones you had to avoid. I had it figured out after about the first day. The second week came and the school had decided to push back the starting date for the children, which for me was a good thing. I wasn't totally ready to teach. Yet after the second week of no children I was getting more anxious as the seconds ticked by. I had a full two weeks of lessons prepared.

Finally the day arrived and I was not expecting the day to go the way it day - or the following weeks for that matter either. Now I do not want to put the exact details about what happened during the days at the school in case this gets into the wrong hands, but lets just say structure, communication, organisation and safety are not the strongest points. One can certainly say there is a lot of spirit there though.

Through all the tears and the tantrums (and that's just from me), I can safely say that some of  the children are starting to understand that I am not going anywhere and I will not give up on them - which is what looks like happened to the majority of them last year. 

I will end this post on a high note. Though my personal life has hit an all time low, some of my children know how to put a smile on my face. With all the stickers, little messages on scrap pieces of paper and  the on bouquet of flowers I received, these children have a lot of happiness in them and I will do whatever it takes to let them shine and grow in wonderful people.

Defending Arts and Humanities

Hermeneutics - Traditional hermeneutics is the study of the interpretation of written texts, especially texts in the areas of literature, religion and law.

I was currently browsing the Education sector of The Telegraph and once again a battle of the subjects is raging hot again. It appears that Arts and Humanities are being described as 'useless in the real world ', and here is an interesting point:
however courses such as philosophy and English Literature contribute very little to our economy

I am all for sharing opinions and agreeing that every one has a right to one, but some are pretty darn stupid. Here is why...

Without Philosophy, many of today questions would be unanswered. I am aware I have no background in terms of education with Philosophy, but every one has questions and thoughts about the world. Without it we would simply not be human. As for our economy, the economy runs on questions such as What if? , and If we do this, what would happen? etc.

Now for my background on English Literature.

English literature comes under the headings of Arts, Humanities, and Hermeneutics. Without studying Literature, one would not be able to possess the ability to argue, persuade, defend etc. many laws would be unfinished, religion would not be understandable, and the economy would be different. There are many levels of studying texts, and it contributes a lot more to the economy than the above person thinks. Literature is not just about plays, poetry, novels; it also involves texts such as posters, leaflets, magazines etc. The way you read a newspaper links to the art of study. You scan to read what is important then you make your own opinions, assumptions. That is Literature at its basic. Science uses Literature; take that away and occupations that follow science would be rendered useless.
Without the teachers of English Literature, many people would simply not be able to function in the real world.
So next time you say English Literature is 'useless'. Think again.