The End is Near

The end is near. Well for my contract in the Middle East that is. It is hard to believe that this time last year I had sent off my CV to a teaching agency on a whim. I wasn’t hoping to get an interview after all I hadn’t even completed the PCET course. I had a back plan of course – supply teaching. I didn’t want to raise my hopes for them to be knocked back down. Yet never in a million years would I have thought of applying for a full-time teaching position in the Middle East. For me to do that I would have to step out of my comfort zone and open myself to rejection on a grander scale.  Nevertheless I put myself out there and waited for the inevitable reply. I didn’t have to wait long though. A few days later and I received an offer letter to be signed and returned as soon as possible. Time after that seemed to pass in a blink of an eye.  A year on and I am currently going through the same progress – signing an offer letter for next yet.

The thing that has me most excited is my vacation time in July. I will be going home. Though I will only be in the UK for four weeks as I have my very own Euro-trip booked; by Euro-trip I mean Newcastle – Amsterdam – Rotterdam – Stockholm – Gothenburg. Hopefully my next summer vacation will include Finland, Hungary and Denmark. When discussing my plans with my family over skype, my brother appeared and stated I should visit Krakow, Poland. His reasoning for this, which is horribly amusing, is to see how many Polish live there since the UK is swarmed with them. Slightly racist brother I have there.

I have been thinking about my plans for the British summer and I realised I will definitely need to make time for my best friend’s first new-born baby.  I am so ecstatic for her. It’s surreal that the girl  I grew up with for eleven years is about to be a mother.  She’s all grown up now. It also reminds of my little girl waiting at home for me – my beautiful nightmare of a niece. I can’t wait to shower her in kisses and maybe cause some mischief around the town with her. My Lillie-bug is one hilarious child. I am so grateful that she hasn’t forgotten me. 

In other news, someone recently mentioned to me about remembering me when I have published my work and it got me thinking; why do I need to publish my work? Is it to earn money? For someone criticise my work publicly? So everyone knows who I am? If these are the reasons  then my answer is no. I write to let my feelings out. I am not bothered if no-one or everyone reads it. It’s my hobby, my own pleasure – no-one else’s. I may link my posts on social network sites, but that is so one of my good friends can read it- and nothing else.

I am currently in the middle of writing a book – continuing what I had started in university for an assignment. Again this is for me only; to see what I can accomplish. I remember listening to my English tutor say to me: “Even if you only write a 100 words a week, you can still write a  complete novella or even a novel, but it all depends on your state of mind and whether you want  to finish something you have started.” This stuck with me for 3 years, but I didn’t return to my story until recently. 

It’s amazing what changes a person can go through without really knowing. I am still the girl who watches the world rather than participates, but at the end of the day I know what risks are worth taking and which choices are simply unrealistic. Whether it’s my upcoming plans for the summer, or my continuous need to write something, I know life has plenty of things in store for me.

Well that s enough writing for now,

See you on the other side of the Internet

Melissa

15.10.13

It has been roughly one month and a half since I arrived in Al Ain, and my life has done a complete 360 multiple of times. So lets begin where I left off in my last post which happened to be the first night in my new home. Well what happened after that was simply more than your average emotional roller-coaster.

I decided to a bit of shopping whilst I waited for a fellow UK-er to arrive. This was to be my first grocery trip and what an experience it was. I had no idea what to buy except from water, milk and bread. Do I buy frozen food? But if I do how will I cook it with no actual oven in my room? Do I try and keep away from chocolates and buy fruit instead? Questions were running through my head million miles a second. Though one question was the most important of all...how the heck do I get to the shopping centre? Luckily the accommodation managers had left a get-started kit which included maps to all of the local shops. I decided to take the most uncommon mode of transport someone in the UAE would use to get there - by foot. It was rare for anyone to walk anywhere never mind a female on her own; and I wasn't surprised as to why. The traffic was horrendous and everyone stared at you like you had grown an extra set of arms and legs and had five eyes. Everyone who walked had an immediate neon sign pointing to them saying "look at me I'm walking. Please beep your horn at me and shout random words at me".

I finally managed to make it to Jimi Mall, Al Ain, and I felt at piece. I must have spent roughly about 3 hours in the supermarket itself.

I don't want to be talking about what I did ever second of everyday as have just I realised how much space talking about the supermarket trip had actually taken up. So I will move quickly on to the beginning of the first day at School.

Well the first week was simply a CPD week where I felt like I was actually back at school. You found out who were the nicest people, the ones who liked the sound of their voices and the ones you had to avoid. I had it figured out after about the first day. The second week came and the school had decided to push back the starting date for the children, which for me was a good thing. I wasn't totally ready to teach. Yet after the second week of no children I was getting more anxious as the seconds ticked by. I had a full two weeks of lessons prepared.

Finally the day arrived and I was not expecting the day to go the way it day - or the following weeks for that matter either. Now I do not want to put the exact details about what happened during the days at the school in case this gets into the wrong hands, but lets just say structure, communication, organisation and safety are not the strongest points. One can certainly say there is a lot of spirit there though.

Through all the tears and the tantrums (and that's just from me), I can safely say that some of  the children are starting to understand that I am not going anywhere and I will not give up on them - which is what looks like happened to the majority of them last year. 

I will end this post on a high note. Though my personal life has hit an all time low, some of my children know how to put a smile on my face. With all the stickers, little messages on scrap pieces of paper and  the on bouquet of flowers I received, these children have a lot of happiness in them and I will do whatever it takes to let them shine and grow in wonderful people.

One month to go...

It really amazes me how each day has the same amount of seconds, minutes and hours, yet they pass by quicker than the last. It only felt like a few days ago when I received an email containing an
'acceptance of the offer' letter. In fact I signed the form little over a month ago. It seems that life is going so fast that my mind cannot comprehend what is happening.

There is one thing that keeps me up awake, making the night last longer; and that is all the people I will miss.

1) My mum - I will miss the 10am wake up call that she manages to give me every morning. I will miss the annoying 'just checking your still alive' phone calls. I will miss the snarky and bitchy comments we make at each other when one of us is clearly not in the mood. Yet most of all I will miss her warmth and love that a mother gives her child.
2) My dad - I don't really see him that much due to him working away all the time but I will miss the comments he gives when we do unite... (so you're a dumb blonde now...by your putting on the weight and so on). I will miss the arguments were one of us has to be right no matter what. I will definitely miss getting my random hugs from him when I'm feeling down, lonely, or even just bored.
3) My brother - He may have his own family now, and his own house, but I will miss the random phone calls, his way of conning lifts from me, and all the dead arms I receive when trying to beat him up.  I know Jacqueline and Lillie will keep him occupied.
4) My niece -I will miss the way she says 'missa'. I will miss all of her little attitudes she has. I will miss her hugs and kisses and the way she wakes me up in the morning. I will miss her little laugh and her demanding ways.

I could go on like this with everyone in my family, and those that I hold dear to my heart. I will miss the new friends I made throughout my time at school, college and university (both under and post- grad). I will miss my annoying but amusing colleagues from work. I definitely will not miss the early phonecalls asking to come in asap or the phonecalls at night changing shifts. But my time there has been wonderful.

There are people at work who I will miss more then some (sorry) but that's due to the time spent with each individual. There will be one person I will definitely miss. Their ability to make me laugh when I'm annoyed, their acceptance of my bitchy nature or my attitude when I'm on coffee or had no sleep.

It is crazy how many people enter and leave your life all the time, but the memories created along the way will serve me a lifetime of happiness.

Am I ready to go out in to the world alone? - no, but I will do my darn hardest to make the most of what life has given me. 

Maybe This Time..

I know I say this every week at least once, but this time I have promised myself to continue with my goal.  Apparently it's bad luck to start a diet on a Monday, though I do not know the reason for that. So in light of this, I am starting mine on a Tuesday. However, I am not going to diet as such, but cut down on the amount of food I eat. I eat when I'm bored, emotional, tired, or whenever really; which is ironic cause its making me depressed when I can't fit into my favourite pair of jeans. I am going to keep track of my calorie intake to a suitable level. I even have an app on my phone to help me along the way. Since the average intake for women is round about 2000, I am going to cut mine to 1400, as well as increasing my amount of exercise.

But it is not just my lifestyle that I am going to change, I am also changing my attitude. After speaking to a friend, I have found out that I am quite an intimidating, stuck up bitch - yet this does not seem to be me at all. So as from tomorrow Miss Melissa Rose is going to change, hopefully, and maybe it will be for the better and not for the worst.

Part 2...

       Dream number 2 has left me a bit worried. A crush on a member of staff is not going to go well at all, especially when this member of staff is a new addition to the team. My dream was all smiles and tickles - quite literally! What type of guy grabs his co-worker into a hug and starts tickling her in front of customers, very unprofessional. Yet this made me realise nothing would ever happen since it would be very unprofessional indeed. As much as it makes me think, it still hurts especially when another co-worker quite openly state that she would love to be his new gf or something. You know when you get that feeling that your heart sinks into your stomach, yeah that's how I felt when I heard this piece of gossip.

      Oh I also have a bit of a dilemma on my hands. I've been short-listed for a place in Korea doing a TESL course but the problem is that the course starts in March, but my PC-ET course won't have finished in time. Do I waste £8,500 for a chance that I might never get again, but end up getting homesick. Or do I continue with this PC-ET and hope that I can somehow teach abroad at another time. I'm currently trying to persuade my course tutor that I can do both courses at the same time. Crazy idea I know. Lets just hope it works.

Bucketlist :)

1. See the Northern Lights (Aurora Borealis)
2. Visit Paris
3. Tour Italy
4. Get into my PCET course
5. Pass my driving test
6. Sleep under the stars
7. Learn to Ice Skate
8. Send a message in a bottle
9. See a Cirque du Soleil show
10. Learn a foreign language 
11. See a Broadway Musical
12. Learn Sign Language
13. Buy my first car
14. Complete my dissertation to the standard that I can achieve
15. Write another chapter for my story
16. Visit a volcano
17. Stop cursing like a sailor before I start my placement
18. Pass my PCET course
19. Finish off my leg piece 
20. Live on my own
21. Earn over £1000 a month
22. Buy a new car (say goodbye to Philly the Punto)
23. Get that teaching job I have always wanted
24. Become a mentor 
25. See the sun set in a foreign country
26. Live a year away from my parents.
27. Visit London

More will appear when I can think of things, and will be crossed out when completed: Pictures  for proof will be posted here:

Bucket-List number 5.

Starry-Eyed Night

9- Quickly jot down four verbs, four adjectives, and four nouns. Write a poem using all 12 words.

Unveil the fate that the night brings.

Hold me close under the heavenly stars.

Dance with me across the enchanting springs.

Serenade me with your beautiful love.

An Addition to A New Goal

I recently published a post stating that I was going to attempt to write a new poem each week. However a nice friend gave me this and I shall cross them off as I go:

1- Write a poem where each line starts with a letter from your first name (an acrostic). It can be about anything, but it should not be about you or your name.

2- Who was the last person you texted? Write a five line poem to that person.

3- Find the nearest book (of any kind). Turn to page 8. Use the first ten full words on the page in a poem. You may use them in any order, anywhere in the poem.

4- Write a haiku. They’re often about nature, but yours can be about anything.

5- Write a three line poem about lemons without using the following words: lemon, yellow, round, fruit, citrus, tart, juicy, peel, and sour.

6- Write a poem of any length incorporating every word from your latest Facebook status.

7- Take a walk until you find a tree you identify with, then write a poem using the tree as a metaphor for yourself or your life.

8- Write a Cinquain on a topic of your choice.

 9- Quickly jot down four verbs, four adjectives, and four nouns. Write a poem using all 12 words.

10- Pick a one line song lyric to serve as an epigraph to your poem. Then, write the poem to accompany it.

11- Write a list poem.

12- Tell your life story in 6 words.

13- Write a short poem that a child would like.

14- Write a bad poem, make it as lousy as you can, do everything wrong, let yourself be awful.

15- Post a poem (written by someone else) that you love (for any reason).

16- Respond to the poem you posted yesterday with a poem of your own.

17- Write a poem that employs a rhyme scheme.

18- Write a poem without any end rhyme, only internal rhyme.

19- Imagine yourself doing any household task/chore, then write a poem using what you’ve imagined as an extended metaphor for writing.

20- Write a narrative poem detailing a specific childhood memory.

21- Choose one of the poems you’ve already written and posted as part of this challenge and re-order it in some way. You could rearrange the lines or stanzas or even words in a line. Think of it as a puzzle!

22- What is the first car you bought/drove/remember? Write a poem about it.

23- Write a seven line poem that begins with “it’s true that fresh air is good for the body” (from Frank O’Hara’s poem “Ave Maria”) and ends with “this is our body” (from Gary Snyder’s “The Bath”).

24- Write a poem that’s different in some way from anything you’ve ever written. Take a chance! Be wild!

25- Write a poem that includes all of the following words: pistachio, ink, pebble, weather, varnish.

26- Gather some magazines/catalogs you don’t mind cutting up and spend ten minutes flipping through them looking for words/sentences that spark your interest. Cut out the words as you go, and (at the end of the ten minutes) arrange the words to form a cut-out poem.

27- Begin with the title “The Poem I’d Never Write.” Then, write that poem.

28- Visit a virtual art gallery and look around until you find a piece that intrigues you. Write a poem inspired by the artwork.

29- Briefly research a poetic form of your choice and write a poem according to the rules of that particular form.

30- Write a poem employing extended metaphor to illustrate the experience of the last thirty days.

So I wonder if I can complete this.  

Not So New

It appears that it is that time of year again, the time where I have to think about my choices for next year at university. As Thomas Merton once said:


“We must make the choices that enable us to fulfill the deepest capacities of our real selves.”

Yet how do I know which options to choose? How do I know that when the time comes I will not regret these choices? 


The answer is, to take that risk. 


A risk in itself, is a dangerous concept to think about. But to take it, multiple doors open and so many opportunities can arise.  However not all risks can be positive. Just ponder for a moment; what risks should you take in life, and what risks are best left alone.