Life after Books

” but there is this unwritten contract between author and reader and I think not ending your book kind of violates that contract.”
                                        John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

I recently read a book by John Green Fault in Our Stars and it was definitely an interesting read. Now I am not going to write a review on this story because I have my opinion and that is mine only. However, it made some interesting points about characters and endings of stories, and it made me question my own thoughts.


When a story is placed upon paper, characters and situations are born. They may not be real in existence, but they are real on the page. They are given a background, a life, a history, upon which they evolve into deeper beings. Simply immortalized in words. They are brought to life through their personalities. We learn their likes, dislikes, their ability to bond with other characters. No being is created from thin air. Even those that maybe only mentioned once or twice, they still play a part. It is this creation that poses a problem. As a reader you form your own opinion of each character, you seem to bond with them, learn to love or hate them. Yet when the problem of the story has been solved and the book comes to a close, you face a problem. Does that story really end there? What happens afterwards? Is the light turned off for good? Are these characters thrown in to a disposal bin of endings?

It was this thought that puzzled me the most. Do we really need to know what happens after that last page has ended, after that last period? If a story ends in a happen ending, is it really necessary to think about them more? The answer is no. They are simply words on a page that have been written for our enjoyment only. They are not biographies of life. They are not real people. It is not realistic to end all stories with a happy ending, the characters living a perfect life with everything resolved and dying peacefully in their sleep. That itself would pose more questions than answers.

 So what if a story ends in the middle, not completing the story. Take Hazel for example, the reader learns everything, if not more, that we need to know as if she was a real being beside us. Yet as the story progresses, so does our attachment to the character. This is our downfall. When the story dramatically ends, with no explanation, we are left with disappointment. What happened next? Did she live happily? Was she cured? The only person who knows is the character herself. Even her creator doesn't know. It is in this ending that we are able to write our own endings. Each one unique as the person next to us. Yes we may still be left with that question , what happened, burning our curiosity bit by bit, but stories life this imitate life perfectly. Just as 'stories end in the middle of a sentence' with no reason, our life can end at any second, without reason and those around will be left asking questions.

It is simply our nature to question everything and not to take it at face value. It is what it is. This is why I think John Green has hit the proverbial nail on the head. I would leave this post in the middle of a sentence, but I do not have the will power to do so.

So I will leave it with this conclusion. Forming your own answers in your mind is more appropriate than reading a solid ending in a story. You can create your own world for these characters, and no one will question it.

Broken Hearts and Torn Up Letters

False face must hide what the false heart doth know

  - William Shakespeare

False face must hide what the false heart doth know.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/w/william_shakespeare_2.html#mfFEewiobEAOeiXX.9

Games. As much as we had to admit it, we are all involved in a game. Whether you're the one making the rules, or the one following them, you are in a game. Just like any ordinary game there is a winner and a loser. Sometimes, the rules can change and the people playing both lose. The outcome of the game can depend on strength will-power and logic. If you become to emotional the results can be disastrous. Once you start playing, each move you make becomes dangerous and risky. There is no way out.

Take this game for example. Two people caught up in a game of Lust. Actually make that four people, more dramatic ending. It's the classic  'I want what I can't have but I will try and take it anyway' scenario. One person caught in a trap with several entanglements Does she choose the spark between a lover known for a day, the chemistry with a dangerous attraction, or does she choose the connection between a 'more than' friend?

Lets break it down even further. The first: The Lover. An instant spark between two people set in a scene fuelled by alcohol. Surprisingly the lovers met during a moment of sobriety but as more liquid was consumed, the hormones began to take over resulting in drunken promises of faithfulness, protection with the inclusion of number-swapping. The outcome will most likely result in akwardness and perhaps the blocking of the whole night were the two people will never meet again. Or it could swing the other way and something beautiful will become of the meeting. However this causes friction amongst others included and changes the game completely.

This takes us to the second part: The attraction. Two people once caught in the trap of attraction mixed with passion and intellect. A dangerous combination with consequences that have affected the whole game and its' players. Two people who had to draw a line in their meeting to keep one player from a broken heart. Yet the attraction has now become all one-sided. A mark has been left in one's head and is saddened when the other player is in charge of his own game with many other contestants, maybe one or two in a night. The loser then watches from the sidelines constantly comparing the winner to other participants in her court. She will be wondering when can she break free from the spell to play her endeavours free from jealousy and longing.

The two situations bring on the final part, the result. The decision: The Connection. As the act between The Lover and The Attraction unfolds, the understudy is waiting behind the curtains, watching every move she makes and every line she speaks. He patiently waits for his turn in the game but it never comes. She has placed him in a compartment in her heart safely locked away. Two people caught in a never-ending circle of hidden emotions which threaten to explode. The Attraction fades away in to the night one more time and The Lover takes centre-stage. This is the moment in which the players will know the outcome. No more rule-changing. No more manipulation. Brutality is amongst them. The Connection admits defeat and walks away leaving the lovers to their finale. They win the game and each other.

However, like all games, there is a final twist: The Heartbreak. As The Connection player walks away, he is forced back in to the game when she realises the consequences of dallying in such a sport. The Connection no longer wants to be a part, and two hearts break at once. The Lover is forgotten immediately, The Attraction is no longer holding a spell over her but it's too late. She has lost. No more drawings, no more communication with words and technology, no more smiles. She realises it's her fault. It was her all along. No one was playing games but her. She was manipulating situations to suit her, not noticing the effects it would have on the participants. A moment too late and the game is over.

The end of one teaching experience....

One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. "Which road do I take?" she asked. "Where do you want to go?" was his response. "I don't know," Alice answered. "Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."

                        (Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland)

Education allows every individual to create their own paths in life; whether that’s to explore themselves as a person, extend their knowledge and wisdom, or even help develop a career that they would like.

Teacher Professionalism:

Professionalism, in any aspect of teaching, is a critical component of education. Professionalism, to me, means a commitment to teaching my subject knowledge to others and presenting what is best for the learners. It also means having the right skills and attitudes modelled for the learners – to be a positive role in their education. By having the right attitude to teaching, I can take more risks with lessons and make changes that will improve the learning.  I have also learnt that flexibility is the key to being professional.  As I was unable to teach my specialist subject, English Literature, I had to adapt to teach Functional Skills Literacy instead. Here I did encounter problems and mistakes within my teaching of this subject, but my experience helped me overcome this issue. Teaching a different subject helped me to be resilient and adaptable when such problems did arise.

My teaching experience also helped me to develop a professional attitude to treating all students fairly and look for the best in my learners. The learning environment showed me how focusing on the strengths rather than their criminal record helped remove bias and prejudice from myself and other learners.  This also strengthened my ability to follow through on disciplinary methods for the more disruptive learners.    

Teacher Values:

My values of teaching have changed throughout the experience I have been given. At first, I thought teaching was about being knowledgeable about the subject I teach; however, you must have the ability to communicate to pass on that knowledge. Communication here relates to the concept that teachers must be able to connect with the learners, and keep them interested in every session that occurs. Yet it is not just the learners you need to communicate with, it’s communicating your thoughts and feelings with other members of staff to help develop yourself as a teacher.

I also believe that trust and confidence are important in teacher values. My mentor has helped me with this aspect as my learning environment required a high level of trust and confidence in the learners. I was only allowed to share information told to me by the learners when it threatened the safety of the learners and myself. However I must understand both the learners’ educational and emotional need regardless of their criminal background.

Another value that has been shaped by my experience is my level of organisation and more pressure has been placed upon me due to the nature of the learning environment. The learners’ work has to be marked promptly as no work is to leave the learning environment for their own safety and maintaining their ILPS at the end of the session was a difficulty. As a trainee teacher my lesson plans had to be created well in advance and any resources had to be sent to the deputy leader for system checks. This developed my ability to create lessons that were simple, practical and achievable for the learners and the focus was only on them.

As a result my mentor at my learning environment helped in the shaping of my teacher values. By sharing my thoughts and reflecting at the end of every session, I was developing as a more professional teacher all the time. Here teamwork by all the members off staff, and my tutor at the university, provided me with tips to control, manage and inspire the learners and the sharing of resources; this increased my level of confidence in teaching and make me realise you do not have to be alone in the learning environment.

Motivating and Engaging Learners:

I cannot pinpoint the exact moment were I finally managed to motivate and engage all learners at the same time; it was simply a case of trial and error. This was due to the churn factor of new learners and the leaving of old learners. However, one way to overcome this problem was to embed a multiple of teaching resources that took into consideration the needs of every individual; for example one typical lesson would use activities on the smart-board to allow group work, and the learners would develop their skills by using comprehension tasks and worksheets which allowed for individual or paired help. By employing different teaching methods in each session meant that the students were constantly challenged, but were allowed to complete the work at their own pace to achieve more than their potential.

One thing I did learn from this was patience; some days the mixing of resources worked whereas other days, simple tasks were the key. By taking into the consideration of the learners' needs in a more active way, I asked the learners how they preferred to learn. This meant that they played a more solid role in their learning. However, I finally realise that it is not always possible to produce creative lessons in such an environment due to the issue of safeguarding the individuals; i.e. competitive tasks normally resulted in learners being disruptive and physical. Yet it is possible to produce these tasks in small quantities and not reuse the resources over again and the session would still be effective.

Teaching Experience:

Throughout my teaching at HMP Durham Prison, I have found it most challenging in terms of its preparation for lessons. Unlike other educational institutions, everything I prepare has to be checked for the safety of the learners and me.  Yet I managed to overcome this by using many online resources such as the SkillsWorkshop, BBC Skillswise, and even the Online English Dictionary. These resources were simple to modify and adapt to each session, and the learners took to the tasks straight away without a problem. Marking work was also a problem within the environment. I had to learn to create assessment tasks that could be marked within the sessions and would still provide an opportunity to provide feedback for the learners.

A typical day would consist of new learners stating they did not want to be in this class, that it was ‘useless’ to them. I learnt to take these comments in stride, and found a way to encourage the learners to stay in education. By acting more than a teacher to them, and actually listening to what they had to say the learners began to trust my teaching methods and turned up to the following session the week after when I was teaching. Many had said that their school ‘teacher did not care’ about the individual and their learning, and began to appreciate that I went out of my way to include them all the time. This also showed me how much learners rely on praise subconsciously. John Wooden once said that:

“Seek opportunities to show you care. The smallest gestures often make the biggest difference.”

Throughout the two and three hour sessions I taught that learners seemed to enjoy the lesson more when they were praised on their achievement. However I made sure not to over-praise as it would appear that I was being condescending to some. The effect of my praise towards the learners seemed to carry on beyond the classroom doors. This showed exactly how communication “must also depend on how interested in other people we really are”.

“When you study great teachers... you will learn much more from their caring and hard work than from their style.”

 I believe that without my mentor and my tutor showing how they invest in what the students actually say then I would not be able to create an environment where learners would feel like they can walk away saying that they have actually enjoyed the lesson and that they have learnt something. I hope with everything that I have learnt over the year, I will pass on to my students. I know that obstacles will stand in my way, but that will make my career choice more exciting.

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