That Sunshine

It's me again.
Thought I may give myself a bit of me time and get back to writing. I can't believe how long it has been since I wrote my last post. Anyway, time for another update I think.

So my last one ended with;

Now to find someone to share my sunshine with. 

It turns out that I didn't have long to wait for my sunshine; it was right there as I was typing up my last post. Technically, I wouldn't to know about it until a few weeks later, but he arrived just when I least expected it. He has been my sunshine ever since. 

How did we meet?

Well that is a funny story, maybe not to anyone else but it is to us. Let me take you back to January 2017. I went home for Christmas as I normally do, and while I was spending time with an ex boyfriend several things had happened. My nana was taken into hospital and spent the entire time of my holiday there, and because I didn't want my last memory of her to be of that in a hospital, I caused an argument between my parents and myself. That isn't really all that surprising, we are not a family that communicates very well. It was during this time that I realised I wanted to move back home. I didn't want to miss out on family moments, the good or the bad. So when January rolled round and I headed back to the UAE, I handed in my resignation. I had made the decision and nothing was changing my mind. I settled all my plans, made financial budgets to help move home and even deleted Tinder. Not that the latter really affected me much, but there was no point. 

Yet somehow, when the end of February arrived, I found myself withdrawing my resignation and signing a two-year contract. I booked myself a little holiday to Abu Dhabi and re-installed Tinder. It would be that holiday that would change my life (yes cliche phrase I know, but it's true). 

Tinder and all it's Glory

Yes I may have went on a few dates and such, but that is a completely different post altogether, but it was one match that was completely out of character for me that brought this change. The first thing was he was wearing a Kilt. Not that's a terrible reason, in fact it was the opposite, he definitely caught my eye. The second one was his age. Now, normally I tend to go for men older than me (the older the wiser right?), but that wasn't really working out. This person was the same age as my brother, which was slightly out of my comfort zone, because all I could think of was "I could be dating my brother's mate". I swiped right anyway, and there it was, a match. He didn't open up with a cheesey line or something ridiculous just a simple hey. We spent the next week or so just chatting on Tinder. I may have been distracted with something else at the time, so conversation was a bit sparse. Nevertheless, we made plans to meet up one weekend. It was that part which really threw me a loop. He was going back to the UK. So I didn't get my hopes up and just resigned to the fact we would be text buddies that may meet up in the future when I'm home. I was slightly annoyed but there wasn't much I could do about it. Finally the day came and honestly I was scared. 

The First Meet

We made plans to meet at a coffee shop in Dubai. I was anxious so I did what I do best - shop, and it helped. Only one thought remained, would he turn up? He did and it was the best coffee date/meet I had ever had. We instantly clicked, and spent 4 hours chatting about absolutely anything and everything. Family and friends, our time in Dubai, of which we found our paths may have crossed a few times without us even knowing. We made each other laugh. I felt at ease and I didn't want the day to end. Unfortunately it did.  We parted with a hug and a quick comment about chatting through messages if ever needed someone to talk to. It was a bittersweet moment. 

He did message me. In fact we spent the next few weeks messaging back and forth about our days with a cheeky bit of flirting thrown in for good measure but nothing more. It wasn't until I sent a message about a Hen Party that every changed. The flirting grew more and spent every waking moment talking. Skype addresses were exchanged and online dates were set up. Everything seemed to falling into place. There was only one problem - I was still in the UAE. 

Skype Dates

Skype became our preferred form of contact, and our friendship started to grow into something else. We weren't quite sure what it was, but it was something. We spent hours talking about absolute nonsense, giggling at each other, doing that cute thing couples do when they first get together, but nothing had been established.
 

Drunken Messages

April was over and the 1st of May came upon us. So much had happened between us in such a short amount of time that other aspects of our relationship grew. It even spilled over into our nights out. Drunken messages allowed our hearts to be spilled and feelings to be shown with no hesitation. It was very clear our feelings for one another were the same. Even if one person claimed to have no emotions. I looked forward to waking up to drunken messages; they were soppy and cute and made my heart flutter. I even gave him a specific ringtone so I knew it was him messaging (something he took full advantage of). 3rd of May was a big change for us. We had already declared our feelings for one another and decided to explore our relationship further. Nothing was labeled though, we just assumed that was it. We were not seeing anyone else, it was just us two. It was perfect. Many more drunken messages later and we began to count down the days to my return. One prticular drunken message almost killed me.   We both happened to be on a night out and drunken messages were sent back and forth. Some were soppy, and some (mainly from me) were incoherent. It was fun until I had to go to work. Waking up to this text with a hangover wasn't fun either. All I remember is waking uo to thinking he wanted to end everything. He want us to stop with this "boyfriend and girlfriend" malarkey. Sounds ominious right?! Again fate intervened and he was still drinking at this point, taking shots if I recall correctly. All I could think was not this, not after what we had been planning with each other. Turns out he wanted us to be official, but being drunk was the dutch courage he needed to ask. What a pair we are.

So thats a brief, sort of, introduction to how we met and how we finally grew to the point where I love has been exchanged so many times. He is my sunshine. He lights up my every day. He knows how to make me laugh, make me smile, comfort me when I need it, ease my insecurities when I'm being stupid and he also knows how to wind me up too. In such a short space of time we have been through a lot. He was my biggest ray of Sunshine when my Nana passed away this Summer. He made me forget about it just for a moment on my birthday, and supported me during her funeral. I wouldn't have made it without him. 

We are not perfect, we have our moments, but we make it through. We have grown a lot together and I can't wait to see where this goes. He is my person, my sun, my life. Some days I have a problem with letting go of being so independent, and relying on someone else. Other days I realise none of that is true, I am building a life that I have always wanted, creating a lifetime of memories to make. I have never been this happier in my entire life. Even other people are noticing. My depression and anxiety are at its lowest and I know its because of him. He makes me feel as though I can conquer the world. Sure being in a different country has its problems, but I know I can make it through this contract before I can finally be with him.

Right now he is in a timezone further away than normal and it's only been two days but I miss him even more than I normally do. Our conversations are sparse, but it's made me realise how much I take him for granted. I appreciate every little message he sends. Even if it is a quick good morning/goodnight. I'm lucky that I can be in a position to get that. I know he's safe and well. Nine weeks can't come quick enough. I need to feel the sun in my face. 

I love my Sunshine.

Let me dream forever....

In the shadows it awakes the desire
But you know that you can't realize
And the pressure will just keep rising
Now the heat is on
                                                          Within Temptation - Where is the edge?

As usual I had that dream again last night, and surprisingly it had lasted a little bit longer. I have copied the dream into this post and I will continue from there.

As I stared out to the ocean before me, I could feel someone's eyes boring into my back. I slowly faced towards him and I could his eyes begging for me to take his out-stretched hand. My body seemed to know what it wanted as my legs started to move towards him. The closer I stepped towards him, the more my body felt alive. Why was I reacting this way? He must have decided that I was taking too long to reach him, as he moved so quickly his body was pressed against mine. Soon as we touched it had felt like time had stopped. His hand grazed against my cheek, and with a sweet caress I melted into him. I gazed into his soulful eyes; I knew I was home. Without any warning his lips swept across mine. 

I reciprocated the kiss, and I could feel the power radiating from him. Dominance. That was what he wanted. In that moment I was willing to surrender to him. My control was slipping away. In one swift movement, I was placed upon a blanket. Surrounded by the calm, gentle waves and only the moonlight glow in sight, I realised we were most definitely alone. With my heart pounding, I could make out the features off his face. Finally I could see what he looked like, but once I saw his eyes, I was lost. I moved my hand to reach out to him, to bring him closer to me, but his grip stilled my movement. His lips parted and a small word was released. 'Patience'. Patience for what. My body was getting restless. Was I to wait for him to make the first movement. I couldn't wait. I needed him. I tried to speak but my words were stuck in my throat. The grip on my body was liberated, his hands moved slowly from my waist up to my face, and a finger was placed upon my lips. Gazing at his face, I noticed a crooked smile. What game were we playing. I was prey for the lion, for him. He had hunted me and now he wanted to toy with me. 

And that was as far as I got. I have a rough idea who this guy is but hopefully tonight I will dream more and my suspicions will be confirmed.

A dreamy-eyed child staring into night...

On a journey to storyteller's mind
Whispers a wish speaks with the stars the words are silent in him
Distant sigh from a lonely heart
                                                  Nightwish - Wishmaster


So last night I had trouble sleeping so I ended up reading a book till roughly 2am this morning. Maybe reading a book that late was not the best of ideas. Let me take you through my actions leading to me writing this post.

After closing my book, I changed into my pyjamas and climbed into my bed for the night. Sleep came relatively easy once my brain had been challenged enough from the late night reading. I dream a lot every night so the occurring events were no stranger to me. But what made me confused was the twist and turns of the dreams. Most of them were like looking down a camera lens that was out of focus but one particular dream was interesting.

As I stared out to the ocean before me, I could feel someone's eyes boring into my back. I slowly faced towards him and I could his eyes begging for me to take his out-stretched hand. My body seemed to know what it wanted as my legs started to move towards him. The closer I stepped towards him, the more my body felt alive. Why was I reacting this way? He must have decided that I was taking too long to reach him, as he moved so quickly his body was pressed against mine. Soon as we touched it had felt like time had stopped. His hand grazed against my cheek, and with a sweet caress I melted into him. I gazed into his soulful eyes; I knew I was home. Without any warning his lips swept across mine....

And then I woke up. Well I didn't know who this guy was in my dream but I do have an inkling. I have had the same  dream for the past few days and it appears to be getting more and more detailed. Maybe tonight I will have the same dream and I might be able to find out who he is.

Melissa
x

Boost up those brochure sales by pimping out your staff!

Well. That is all I have to say. Today was clearly one of those good days, were I don't look like a right mess at work. So it all started with an idea to boost up the Christmas brochures and B4L. I always do badly, that's a given when I'm at work, so here was a tip given to me by a friend...

"Make a sign that for every brochure a customer buys, they will be entered in a draw for a date with a member of staff (the customer can even choose which person). Or just pimp someone out completely"

Yeah cause that will work. Apparantly it does as I am getting pimped out already.

First there was a young gentleman who gave me a flirty smile and was eyeing me up (according to another member of staff), and he was darn good-looking too. Then a boy who must have been about 12 or 13 was a right charmer. He handed me the money with a right swagger calling me darl, yeah his dad taught him well. He will be a right heart-throb when he is older. Bless.

So that was a good day at work. The full day of flirting my way through sales.

Oh as a side note, I also managed to knock down a sign at work by throwing a ball.

All in one day ey.

Life's a Bitch

 Then you marry one....

I have caught myself in the middle of a predicament again. I finally thought I had got out of a sticky situation with two people last week, but as my luck would have it one person would not let go. For once I wish I had the guts to tell people how I feel without feeling guilty of the consequences. Yet through this I think I have finally found someone who will put up with my high-maintenance self :). I once stated that I would never go back out with my ex, but somehow fate had won and that's exactly what has happened. I am not complaining though. He's sweet and funny, and knows how to handle my distance.

My weird love-life aside, university life is going great. I have a conditional offer at Sunderland for my teaching course. Hopefully, I will be able to reach the requirements and earn the right to keep my position. Also its not long till I can get my new baby...my first car. I am so excited. I will finally be free; well as free as the petrol allowance will let me be haha.

That's it for now, I have essays and a dissertation to take my mind off the upcoming week :/
That will be a post for later.

I Like...

I like.... 
The way your smile lights up my heart,
The way your presence makes me happy,
The way you make feel.

I like....
It when your voice lights up my day,
When you make me blush,
When you make me feel.

I like....
You for who you are,
You for making me laugh,
You for making me feel. 


I like....
 You. 

:)

She wakes up with a smile,

She sleeps with a smile.

She smiles for him.

She smiles.

Their Sweetness

The gazing of ocean blue against earthly brown,

Velvet whispers, lips he does caress.

A soft embrace, his hand ascends towards her crown.

Brush of her hair, a sweetly placed kiss,

Heart against heart, soul against soul, one they become.

He soaks in his wonderful beauty.

Actions of love envelop her unclothed bosom,

A swift taste of her fresh honey.

One look up at the angel; she begs for mercy,

The promise of his love forever.

Succumbing to his advance, she gives him the key.

They key to her heart and her forever.

The feeling of both bodies, the sound of heaven –

The melody of peace, joy and love.

The perfect fit for her cherished garden,

The perfect fit of his heightened touch.

Collapsing back to earth, the lovers revel in each other’s sight

Each other’s wings of security

He sends his spoken truth to his mate, gives their love the gift of flight

To soar higher than other love for all eternity.

By Melissa J Rose 

Dear Ol' Shakespeare

Just researching for my essay, I stumbled upon this article form the NY Times:


Shakespeare described the terrifying beauty of the adolescent so early in its development, and so definitively and so thoroughly, that it is only slightly an exaggeration to say that he invented teenagers as we know them today. “Romeo and Juliet,” his extended study of the humiliations and glories of adolescence, is the biggest hit of all time and, unlike most of Shakespeare’s works, it has never slipped out of fashion. It has been adapted across genres and eras, into operas and ballets and musicals. The most popular brand of Cuban cigars: Romeo y Julietta. State laws that allow judges to exempt minors from statutory-rape charges are called, naturally, “Romeo and Juliet provisions.”

This shouldn’t be surprising: People just love to watch a couple of dumb kids make out and die. (And they are awfully young, these dumb Veronese kids: Shakespeare doesn’t ever tell us Romeo’s exact age but we know that Juliet is just 13.) The great French scholar Philippe Ariès concluded that for most of the Medieval period “people had no idea of what we call adolescence, and the idea was a long time taking shape.” Yet our whole modern understanding of adolescence is there to be found in this play. Shakespeare essentially created this new category of humanity, and in place of the usual mix of nostalgia and loathing with which we regard adolescents (and adolescence), Shakespeare would have us look at teenagers in a spirit of wonder. He loves his teenagers even as he paints them in all their absurdity and nastiness.

Of course, the most important feature of adolescent rebellion is that it’s doomed. In this, as well, Shakespeare was right there at the beginning. He defined what it means to be “star-cross’d.” The opposition between the adolescent and the mature orders of the world can have only two possible endings. One is comic: the teenager grows up, develops a sense of humor, marries, has kids, moves to the suburbs, gets fat and becomes boring. The other is tragic: the teenager blows up in a blaze of glory. We much prefer to live the comedy. We much prefer to watch the tragedy.

Adapted from “Flaming Youth,” a chapter in “How Shakespeare Changed Everything,” by Stephen Marche (Harper, May 2011).
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/27/magazine/mag-27Riffsidebar-t.html 


Why focus on Romeo and Juliet. Its such an overrated text that has been analysed and critiqued so many times. I don't think this Marche guy has read any of his other works.