That Sunshine

It's me again.
Thought I may give myself a bit of me time and get back to writing. I can't believe how long it has been since I wrote my last post. Anyway, time for another update I think.

So my last one ended with;

Now to find someone to share my sunshine with. 

It turns out that I didn't have long to wait for my sunshine; it was right there as I was typing up my last post. Technically, I wouldn't to know about it until a few weeks later, but he arrived just when I least expected it. He has been my sunshine ever since. 

How did we meet?

Well that is a funny story, maybe not to anyone else but it is to us. Let me take you back to January 2017. I went home for Christmas as I normally do, and while I was spending time with an ex boyfriend several things had happened. My nana was taken into hospital and spent the entire time of my holiday there, and because I didn't want my last memory of her to be of that in a hospital, I caused an argument between my parents and myself. That isn't really all that surprising, we are not a family that communicates very well. It was during this time that I realised I wanted to move back home. I didn't want to miss out on family moments, the good or the bad. So when January rolled round and I headed back to the UAE, I handed in my resignation. I had made the decision and nothing was changing my mind. I settled all my plans, made financial budgets to help move home and even deleted Tinder. Not that the latter really affected me much, but there was no point. 

Yet somehow, when the end of February arrived, I found myself withdrawing my resignation and signing a two-year contract. I booked myself a little holiday to Abu Dhabi and re-installed Tinder. It would be that holiday that would change my life (yes cliche phrase I know, but it's true). 

Tinder and all it's Glory

Yes I may have went on a few dates and such, but that is a completely different post altogether, but it was one match that was completely out of character for me that brought this change. The first thing was he was wearing a Kilt. Not that's a terrible reason, in fact it was the opposite, he definitely caught my eye. The second one was his age. Now, normally I tend to go for men older than me (the older the wiser right?), but that wasn't really working out. This person was the same age as my brother, which was slightly out of my comfort zone, because all I could think of was "I could be dating my brother's mate". I swiped right anyway, and there it was, a match. He didn't open up with a cheesey line or something ridiculous just a simple hey. We spent the next week or so just chatting on Tinder. I may have been distracted with something else at the time, so conversation was a bit sparse. Nevertheless, we made plans to meet up one weekend. It was that part which really threw me a loop. He was going back to the UK. So I didn't get my hopes up and just resigned to the fact we would be text buddies that may meet up in the future when I'm home. I was slightly annoyed but there wasn't much I could do about it. Finally the day came and honestly I was scared. 

The First Meet

We made plans to meet at a coffee shop in Dubai. I was anxious so I did what I do best - shop, and it helped. Only one thought remained, would he turn up? He did and it was the best coffee date/meet I had ever had. We instantly clicked, and spent 4 hours chatting about absolutely anything and everything. Family and friends, our time in Dubai, of which we found our paths may have crossed a few times without us even knowing. We made each other laugh. I felt at ease and I didn't want the day to end. Unfortunately it did.  We parted with a hug and a quick comment about chatting through messages if ever needed someone to talk to. It was a bittersweet moment. 

He did message me. In fact we spent the next few weeks messaging back and forth about our days with a cheeky bit of flirting thrown in for good measure but nothing more. It wasn't until I sent a message about a Hen Party that every changed. The flirting grew more and spent every waking moment talking. Skype addresses were exchanged and online dates were set up. Everything seemed to falling into place. There was only one problem - I was still in the UAE. 

Skype Dates

Skype became our preferred form of contact, and our friendship started to grow into something else. We weren't quite sure what it was, but it was something. We spent hours talking about absolute nonsense, giggling at each other, doing that cute thing couples do when they first get together, but nothing had been established.
 

Drunken Messages

April was over and the 1st of May came upon us. So much had happened between us in such a short amount of time that other aspects of our relationship grew. It even spilled over into our nights out. Drunken messages allowed our hearts to be spilled and feelings to be shown with no hesitation. It was very clear our feelings for one another were the same. Even if one person claimed to have no emotions. I looked forward to waking up to drunken messages; they were soppy and cute and made my heart flutter. I even gave him a specific ringtone so I knew it was him messaging (something he took full advantage of). 3rd of May was a big change for us. We had already declared our feelings for one another and decided to explore our relationship further. Nothing was labeled though, we just assumed that was it. We were not seeing anyone else, it was just us two. It was perfect. Many more drunken messages later and we began to count down the days to my return. One prticular drunken message almost killed me.   We both happened to be on a night out and drunken messages were sent back and forth. Some were soppy, and some (mainly from me) were incoherent. It was fun until I had to go to work. Waking up to this text with a hangover wasn't fun either. All I remember is waking uo to thinking he wanted to end everything. He want us to stop with this "boyfriend and girlfriend" malarkey. Sounds ominious right?! Again fate intervened and he was still drinking at this point, taking shots if I recall correctly. All I could think was not this, not after what we had been planning with each other. Turns out he wanted us to be official, but being drunk was the dutch courage he needed to ask. What a pair we are.

So thats a brief, sort of, introduction to how we met and how we finally grew to the point where I love has been exchanged so many times. He is my sunshine. He lights up my every day. He knows how to make me laugh, make me smile, comfort me when I need it, ease my insecurities when I'm being stupid and he also knows how to wind me up too. In such a short space of time we have been through a lot. He was my biggest ray of Sunshine when my Nana passed away this Summer. He made me forget about it just for a moment on my birthday, and supported me during her funeral. I wouldn't have made it without him. 

We are not perfect, we have our moments, but we make it through. We have grown a lot together and I can't wait to see where this goes. He is my person, my sun, my life. Some days I have a problem with letting go of being so independent, and relying on someone else. Other days I realise none of that is true, I am building a life that I have always wanted, creating a lifetime of memories to make. I have never been this happier in my entire life. Even other people are noticing. My depression and anxiety are at its lowest and I know its because of him. He makes me feel as though I can conquer the world. Sure being in a different country has its problems, but I know I can make it through this contract before I can finally be with him.

Right now he is in a timezone further away than normal and it's only been two days but I miss him even more than I normally do. Our conversations are sparse, but it's made me realise how much I take him for granted. I appreciate every little message he sends. Even if it is a quick good morning/goodnight. I'm lucky that I can be in a position to get that. I know he's safe and well. Nine weeks can't come quick enough. I need to feel the sun in my face. 

I love my Sunshine.

Shining through the Clouds.

“One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and, if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words.”  ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Wilhelm Meister's Apprenticeship

To survive this life, it is important to find the value in the storm. Yet, the truth is, everyone struggles. Life and Death serve a purpose, one that can be hidden by the clouds, and it is up to the indiviual to find that value. It is not enough to merely wish for the storm to pass, but to find the beauty with in it - the sun. It may take days, months, even years, but that moment will shine through.

My sunshine was found hidden within me; yes that is probably the most cliched sentence ever used in the history of the English Language, yet it deems itself true. One cannot move on without looking at oneself in the mirror and seeing the beauty of Life inside. A heart so close to being blackened and cold forever, found content and joy in the simplest of everyday pleasures. It was so easy for me to be cold and unforgiving when the cards gave out so much darkness, and turning those storms into light was harder to do.  Yet somehow, I found it - the reason to breathe each morning, the reason not to use a fake smile - it was myself. 

At the age of 25, I still have a lot of the world to see. However, I am finally happy with the life I am living; a Year 2 teacher living in the UAE.  That was definitely not something expected of me when I was back at school. I had to prove a lot of people wrong. I became a teacher to help nurture and challenge the young minds of the future, but also let them know that they can become whatever they want, no matter what someone else thinks. They can create their own sunshine. 

I will not be out here in the UAE forever, I hope to bring that little bit of happiness back to the UK, back to my home. I always said I needed a reason to go back, love and family, but I know I am going back for me. It's where I belong. Another year out in the Middle East, and the door on this storm will be closed but not forgotten. I have made many wonderful and shiny memories, friendships may not last but they were needed and blessed. They made me who I am today. Each event taught me to stay true to myself, to be content in what I have, no need to search for something that was not necessary. 

It may be so that my anxiety and depression will always follow me around, but it lets me know I am only human. Soon as I forgot who I am,when the clouds take over, I know it is time to open a new book, listen to a new song and I will come back to me. 

Life is strangely beautiful - it takes one decision to alter the path you are on, but don't question it. Take that chance, follow your instinct, and do all the other cheesy life quotes that go with this. Life is meant to be lived, it is meant to be enjoyed. Find that reason and make it your sunshine. You have the right to enjoy it. Don't spend your time thinking of the what if's, go for it! I really don't want to end this post cheesier than my nachos at Paco's but what they say is true.You have sunshine on a cloudy day!

Now to find someone to share my sunshine with. 

Melissa

The career

“Mr. Franz, I think careers are a 20th century invention and I don't want one.” 
― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

Right now that's  how I feel.  I don't want to work. I don't  want to be tied in a position that I will have to live in for the rest of my life.  I don't  want to be backed into a corner, explaining all my decisions to someone in a higher positon. To someone who doesn't  see me at my best, only my worst.

This past week has had me all distracted. I recently got a promotion at work and now it's  left me all dazed. I am no longer in my zone; I don't  have the energy to teach anymore. There's no laughter in my voice. Every little thing a child does angers or upsets me. Other teachers have noticed this too. No appetite, loss of weight, clumsiness and being unaware of objects/people around me. Many thought it was because of a boy. I did too. That was until I saw my new job description lying on my apartment floor. Performance  will be reviewed. That was it. It was those words that send my mind into a whirlwind of panic. No not panic, more like numbness.

I keep thinking to myself, I am too  young for this. 2 years teaching experience is not enough to lead a team. How can anyone take me serious? How can I support a group of teachers if I can barely support myself?

Apparently I can, as I am constantly  reminded. You wouldn't  have this opportunity if you couldn't  do it. Actually  I realised the reason why I have this position; it's not because I can help others around me, lead and inspire, but because I helped complete a few administrative tasks - something anybody could do. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time. There are other teachers better suited for the position and I am constantly reminded of that when I see their face, the change in atmosphere when I enter the room or even the comments to the line manager.

It's  unfair of me to be ungrateful for this role and I simply must give it time, people time to adjust,  and time for me to realise how I can handle this.

The question is: how much time?

A Note From MJR to DRG

1. bass

A four stringed instrument, part of the rhythm section in a band. No band is complete without a bassist.

Bass is, after all, the sexiest instrument.

 
What do you get a guy to say thank you for a being a friend? Thank you for feeding my reading habits. Thank you for the comfort you brought with you. Simply just thank you.
My Friend told me that I should accept the gifts as gifts and that some people don't want anything in return. But me being me, I can't take without giving back. So I have placed myself into quite a predicament.

This is nothing you can fix with a tacky fridge magnet or a key-chain. It's more personal than that. Well, unless there was something that said "You had me at your correct use of the apostrophe", but I don't think one exists.

Yet as I'm writing this note, I seem to almost answer my question. What better gift can I give you than the power of words? I promise this isn't a stalker note, I'd rather do that in person.

It's like my first post written in Paco's and this goodbye post has drawn a complete circle around itself. My first was about the beautifully talented Diesel Band I saw back in October. That resulted in a game of who could embarrass who the most. I clearly lost. Ain't No Sunshine was the first time you uttered my name on stage. Calling me out on the post I wrote about you and your band-mates. I should have known then that it would be the start of a weird acquaintance/friendship.

Lines did blur once or twice but outside influences soon corrected the tracks. Some of those influences were logical whereas others were jealousy and psychotic (not naming any names but one happens to be hidden in my name). We knew the truth and that was what mattered the most.

Fast forward a few months and the teasing began once again. This time in the shape of monsters and stalkers. I did some legal research and did you know that pimping is a crime. Unfortunately, your form of pimping didn't involve money so you won't be punished. Before you say "is that still pimping then?", it is.  Giving out a female's name on stage so people will find her on facebook to 'get to know her' is a type of modernised pimping. That wasn't cool man.

It is good to look back and laugh at all the crazy things that have happened though. Crazy to think that in a short while, it will be the last time I will see you. You're leaving for a new destination, playing your bass, breaking new hearts and causing more mayhem along the way.

I wish you all the best in your endeavours, your conquests and your music. I shall end this note the way I ended the first....

Rocking out to Linkin Park and ironically in the end it didn't really matter that I was some ordinary girl sitting in the corner of a bar writing. This is the music. This is me. This is you

Love, 

Melissa (a.k.a MJR)

I see hell in your eyes

Taken in by surprise
Touching you makes me feel alive
Touching you makes me die inside 
                                                      Slept so Long - Jay Gordon (Queen of the Damned OST)

Saturday night. A night were I would normally spend it planning for the lessons the next day. However, on a rare occasion I had the Sunday off. To celebrate this, me and a few of my fellow friends decided to have a night out; and as per usual we ended up in Paco's. What a surprise! Though hindsight would have been a useful thing to have before I went out. My first omen was drinking wine. Wine is my weakness, my kryptonite. Seriously it makes me so emotional that I cry at everything and anything.

1) 'First cry of the night' award goes to Diesel band and their rendition of Red, Red, Wine (UB40). Sorry guys, but being far away from my parents I was bound to get homesick at some point and unfortunately this was the moment in time were it would decide to appear. My dad. Yes I am a daddy's girl and this song reminded me of him. Whenever this song would be played I could always guess the next words that come out of his mouth "do you know what UB40 stands for?" and if I said no it was result in a long conversation about the 'Unemployment Benefit, Form 40'. My dad has to have the last word and always has to be right. That my friends is where I get my stubbornness from and my bitchy attitude.

2) 'Worst cry of the night' award goes to getting my extensions caught in my hair. Normally it wouldn't bother me getting my hair all tangled up since it happens on a daily occasion. However, add alcohol and pent up frustration to the mix then tears will be the end result. A very pitiful thing to cry at, something I am sure of.

3) 'Very emotional cry of the night' award for the second time goes to Diesel band. Other nights I have listened to them perform Zombie (The Cranberries) and Linkin Park my mind just lost it. Too many memories came flooding back at once and the tears just poured. Childhood memories, recent memories, family, friends, those I left behind. Homesickness what something I thought I would experience at random intervals during my time here.

For now I will be staying away from the wine and stick to other drinks and hopefully the emotional roller-coaster will subside.

Melissa

                        

A dreamy-eyed child staring into night...

On a journey to storyteller's mind
Whispers a wish speaks with the stars the words are silent in him
Distant sigh from a lonely heart
                                                  Nightwish - Wishmaster


So last night I had trouble sleeping so I ended up reading a book till roughly 2am this morning. Maybe reading a book that late was not the best of ideas. Let me take you through my actions leading to me writing this post.

After closing my book, I changed into my pyjamas and climbed into my bed for the night. Sleep came relatively easy once my brain had been challenged enough from the late night reading. I dream a lot every night so the occurring events were no stranger to me. But what made me confused was the twist and turns of the dreams. Most of them were like looking down a camera lens that was out of focus but one particular dream was interesting.

As I stared out to the ocean before me, I could feel someone's eyes boring into my back. I slowly faced towards him and I could his eyes begging for me to take his out-stretched hand. My body seemed to know what it wanted as my legs started to move towards him. The closer I stepped towards him, the more my body felt alive. Why was I reacting this way? He must have decided that I was taking too long to reach him, as he moved so quickly his body was pressed against mine. Soon as we touched it had felt like time had stopped. His hand grazed against my cheek, and with a sweet caress I melted into him. I gazed into his soulful eyes; I knew I was home. Without any warning his lips swept across mine....

And then I woke up. Well I didn't know who this guy was in my dream but I do have an inkling. I have had the same  dream for the past few days and it appears to be getting more and more detailed. Maybe tonight I will have the same dream and I might be able to find out who he is.

Melissa
x

One month to go...

It really amazes me how each day has the same amount of seconds, minutes and hours, yet they pass by quicker than the last. It only felt like a few days ago when I received an email containing an
'acceptance of the offer' letter. In fact I signed the form little over a month ago. It seems that life is going so fast that my mind cannot comprehend what is happening.

There is one thing that keeps me up awake, making the night last longer; and that is all the people I will miss.

1) My mum - I will miss the 10am wake up call that she manages to give me every morning. I will miss the annoying 'just checking your still alive' phone calls. I will miss the snarky and bitchy comments we make at each other when one of us is clearly not in the mood. Yet most of all I will miss her warmth and love that a mother gives her child.
2) My dad - I don't really see him that much due to him working away all the time but I will miss the comments he gives when we do unite... (so you're a dumb blonde now...by your putting on the weight and so on). I will miss the arguments were one of us has to be right no matter what. I will definitely miss getting my random hugs from him when I'm feeling down, lonely, or even just bored.
3) My brother - He may have his own family now, and his own house, but I will miss the random phone calls, his way of conning lifts from me, and all the dead arms I receive when trying to beat him up.  I know Jacqueline and Lillie will keep him occupied.
4) My niece -I will miss the way she says 'missa'. I will miss all of her little attitudes she has. I will miss her hugs and kisses and the way she wakes me up in the morning. I will miss her little laugh and her demanding ways.

I could go on like this with everyone in my family, and those that I hold dear to my heart. I will miss the new friends I made throughout my time at school, college and university (both under and post- grad). I will miss my annoying but amusing colleagues from work. I definitely will not miss the early phonecalls asking to come in asap or the phonecalls at night changing shifts. But my time there has been wonderful.

There are people at work who I will miss more then some (sorry) but that's due to the time spent with each individual. There will be one person I will definitely miss. Their ability to make me laugh when I'm annoyed, their acceptance of my bitchy nature or my attitude when I'm on coffee or had no sleep.

It is crazy how many people enter and leave your life all the time, but the memories created along the way will serve me a lifetime of happiness.

Am I ready to go out in to the world alone? - no, but I will do my darn hardest to make the most of what life has given me. 

qui amatorios affectu part 1

Or that erotic feeling...

No this is not a post about sex, or anything pertaining to it- almost- but in fact this is a post about why I get addicted to tattoos. I figured this out from a weird dream I had last night...

 I woke up in a tattoo parlour snuggled into the tattooist. We moved slowly and sensually to the shower were we lathered each other in soap, exploring each other. He asked me to allow him to tattoo me again. "To mark you" he said...

That's all I'm telling of my dream but it made me think. Some people say that a kiss on the neck (or a bite) is erotic, making a mark of possession. Well for me tattoos are my mark. Someone taking their time to mark my skin with their design. To draw their art on to my skin is erotic to me. I've never felt pain* with any of my tattoos, but a sense of pleasure, almost sending me into a peaceful state. To feel that gun score my skin, being forever etched is a way for me to be seduced. 

The above may sound weird but it's not an addiction for me. I could stop getting tattooed at any point, to move on to something else. Spend my money else where. But the feeling I get from the tattoo is almost like an aphrodisiac. 

I will add more to this post when I get my next tattoo. When I can really think about how it makes me feel.  But for now the memory of the art upon my skin shall have to see me through. 

* Yes I do feel pain if I have been tattooed for a long time in one session. But the beginning and the end are such a sensualistic experience that I need to feel again.

Another Little Quiz

1. What is your best friend's name? Emma

2. Where is the weirdest place you have a mole? I have one randomly on my palm.

3. Who was the hottest teacher you ever had? oooo this is a toughy, probably Mr Thompson, one of my old Chemistry teachers, or perhaps Mr Brown, an old Maths teacher.

4. Do you have an innie or an outtie? I have an innie :)

5. Have you ever been tied up? Do you want to be? I've been tied up once, and I would like to do it again sometime ;)

6. Do you parallel park or drive around the block? I drive around the block, or look for another space

7. Who is the last person you usually think about before you fall asleep? My lovely crush

8. Have you ever had a poem or a song written about you? Yeah I have, quite a few in fact!

9. What was your childhood nickname? Fire, Moo-shake, Milly Molly Mandy, I had a few

10. What's the weirdest thing you have done while driving? I changed my shoes once

11. Do you scrunch or fold your toilet paper? Fold

12. Do you have any strange phobias? Spiders, Blood, Thunder, Lightning

13. What is the stupidest thing you've ever done at a bar? Too many things to write down

14. Have you ever been drunk at work? Plenty of times.

15. Have you ever found your date's/lover's brother or sister more attractive? Once or twice.

Maybe This Time..

I know I say this every week at least once, but this time I have promised myself to continue with my goal.  Apparently it's bad luck to start a diet on a Monday, though I do not know the reason for that. So in light of this, I am starting mine on a Tuesday. However, I am not going to diet as such, but cut down on the amount of food I eat. I eat when I'm bored, emotional, tired, or whenever really; which is ironic cause its making me depressed when I can't fit into my favourite pair of jeans. I am going to keep track of my calorie intake to a suitable level. I even have an app on my phone to help me along the way. Since the average intake for women is round about 2000, I am going to cut mine to 1400, as well as increasing my amount of exercise.

But it is not just my lifestyle that I am going to change, I am also changing my attitude. After speaking to a friend, I have found out that I am quite an intimidating, stuck up bitch - yet this does not seem to be me at all. So as from tomorrow Miss Melissa Rose is going to change, hopefully, and maybe it will be for the better and not for the worst.

Boost up those brochure sales by pimping out your staff!

Well. That is all I have to say. Today was clearly one of those good days, were I don't look like a right mess at work. So it all started with an idea to boost up the Christmas brochures and B4L. I always do badly, that's a given when I'm at work, so here was a tip given to me by a friend...

"Make a sign that for every brochure a customer buys, they will be entered in a draw for a date with a member of staff (the customer can even choose which person). Or just pimp someone out completely"

Yeah cause that will work. Apparantly it does as I am getting pimped out already.

First there was a young gentleman who gave me a flirty smile and was eyeing me up (according to another member of staff), and he was darn good-looking too. Then a boy who must have been about 12 or 13 was a right charmer. He handed me the money with a right swagger calling me darl, yeah his dad taught him well. He will be a right heart-throb when he is older. Bless.

So that was a good day at work. The full day of flirting my way through sales.

Oh as a side note, I also managed to knock down a sign at work by throwing a ball.

All in one day ey.

Just One Huge Rant

I give up. I really do.

Today I realised I have blogged much these past few months and I've celebrated with this complaint. What the heck am I doing with my life? I seem to be living my life with other people's expectations. They want me to be this, that, or the other not taking into consideration what I want. I want to be a prison tutor, but no, apparrently I'm too weak or too much of a pushover to even succeed. Either that or I'm more likely to sleep with one of my students. Great judgement of my life. Why do people need to feel like they have to judge me, or mock what I want to do? Is their life that boring that they feel the need to belittle mine? That, I do not have the answer to.

Another point I'd like to make is my love life. This is were I get a little hypocritical. I expect my love to trust and respect me but I can't seem to trust him. Well not so much him, but others around. Low self esteem and confidence issues have taken control (well thats one excuse thats highly used), the other reason is I know how the majority of skanks work. How can I say to someone I love, yes love, that I don't like him having a life outside of me when there is a lot of temptation around? Oh I hate the label boyfriend and girlfriend too. Just so tacky and overused. Once labels have been placed people expect you to act a certain way, compromise, and basically give up your life to be with that person. Believe me I've seen it happen. You get caught up in a bubble and once an outsider worms their way in, everything changes. Why others feel the need to invade a bubble of which is not theirs I have no idea. Again it all comes down to expectations.

People expect me to be able to read minds, to be perfectly happy all the time, to be normal. Well I'm afraid the more expectations you have of me, the more it those expectations will be thrown out of the window or down a drain somewhere.
Oh and a final thing, why do people constantly make plans with me when they know they are going to make up some bullshit excuse and cancel!

Love from an angry person

Dear Santa

I wish you were real, and not some crazy old weirdo in a suit. 
I think back to how I have yet to see the coca-cola advert and I have came to the conclusion that Christmas is avoiding me this year. I think that I shall be receiving a bag of coal. Not good. Yet I think this year I have behaved quite well in comparison to other years. Like my parents went away and I did not throw a party and wreck the house, I also did not go out drinking all the time and get involved in someone's drama, and I definitely did not spend my time being a bitch like I normally do. So how come I feel this way. Perhaps it is the fact that I have now grown out of Christmas. The songs are now too cheesy and disgusting, I seem to spend a fortune on presents and so all the fun has been sucked out of the season. Oh how I wish I was younger and could appreciate Santa and his miraculous task of sending gifts to every one in the world in the same night. Now that is some task.

So Santa if you are reading this, all I want for Christmas is a bit of fun and laughter, with maybe a few pressies like clothing and perfume and maybe some pretty jewellery.

Thank you :)

Merry Christmas haha x

The Places I Want to Visit

There are so many places that I want to visit while I can. To see the many wonders out there and to take many beautiful photos, and create many beautiful memories. 
Here are a few:


PARIS

HELSINKI

ROME 

So those are a few to name at the moment, though I am certain there will be many more places added to my list soon enough :) 
x 

Become the Part We Both Love to Hate

 

Me.

I like to be alone.

No one around.

No Sound.

Just me.

I like to be imaginative.

Live in a dream world.

My Own Place.

Just me.

You.

You spoilt this.

You are the man in my nightmares,

You are the haunting.

Just you.

You.

Are the knife in my veins.

The blackness in my soul.

The darkness of my mind.

Just you.

You.

Turn Love to Hate.

Pure to Black.

Life to Death

You.

Cause everything pain.

The evil within a smile.

Cause the innocence grief.

You

And me.

Are different