The last post I had written was also on the topic of dreams, but this one takes a different direction altogether.
Dreams. What are they? Are dreams our subconscious unloading the day's events in a weird visual representation? Are they a mixture of memories and wishes combined into a nonsensical way to help pass time while you sleep? No-one really knows the truth about dreams, only you. It is only you that lives to recall the dream as they are but a product of your imagination. Yet if that statement is true as such, then why do you have nightmares? Why would you wish to wake up with a sense of fear? Can you not control what images you view each night? Dreams are indeed peculiar.
Instead of feeling refreshed from a good night's sleep, you spend your waking moments trying to decode the happenings of your sleep. Though the question begs to be asked; what happens when your dreams are simply but a result from stress? Stress can do strange things to your body and it can dangerously affect your mental state. Sleep finds it hard to escape from. Instead, it unleashes a hellish variety of sleep disorders ranging from insomnia to sleep apnoea, RLS to narcolepsy. It is mixed into these disorders a strange act can be found - sleep paralysis. Have you ever woken suddenly, filled with dread and fear? Have you noticed something or someone in your room but you can't move from your spot in bed? Have you tried to scream? Did you notice that trying to blink proved futile. Quite literally you are paralysed. Science suggests that your brain has 'woken up' before REM (rapid eye movement - the time in which you dream) has finished and that the signal to your body to release itself from the 'switched off' mode has been delayed. Due to this delay, you can experience hallucinations, fear and even the feeling of death. Yet a simple solution to unparalyse yourself its to convince your body its still dreaming and within a few seconds, body movement can be restored. It is said that each person will experience this at least once in their lifetime. But what happens when your dream is a lot more sinister than waking up before REM?
Imagine the feeling of someone that is trying to kill you in your sleep. You will simply 'wake up' and everything would be fine. But what if that doesn't happen? As much as you try to jerk yourself awake, the dream deepens. A ghostly figure, or even a face you recognise, seems to take pleasure in your struggle. They wrap their hands around your neck, apply a force to your chest that restricts your breathing. You can feel your ribs aching under the pressure. You know it's a dream but everything you have been taught to do, doesn't work. You try to move more, screaming till you are at the point of tears, but no sound comes out. It's too late to calm down now and work out a logical way to escape the nightmare. You have passed the point of no return. What feels like hours, is simply minutes or even seconds, you finally break free from the gripping hold. However, the terror does not end there. You finally awaken to soaked bed sheets from your on sweat and tears. Your hands are still grasped tightly into your duvet. You are still paralysed with fear. Every noise in your room triggers more panic. You are afraid to stay awake, yet you dare not to close your eyes in case the evilness returns. You know it will. It always does. Instead you lay perfectly still, as though you were dead, waiting for the dread to pass. You wait until the moment you feel safe to sleep again, though that wait may take up to an hour or two. Finally, you take the risk and fall into a restless sleep. The memory of that dream never fades. You will remember that dream ten years from now. On thing for sure, your next attack won't come as a shock. It's still an horrible experience though, but your body knows how to respond.
If you're like me, then you do expect more to come. It becomes a natural event, a simple reoccurring dream, like the rest. What you don't expect though, is to have two episodes in one night. You manage to break from from one but are then pulled straight into the next. Reality becomes distorted. You become afraid that you will never free the cycle. Your chest feels like it's being crushed. You can feel your tears run down your cheeks, yet its impossible to wipe them away. You are being held captive by your own body and mind. You wonder if you are going to survive the night. Reality slips away even further when another figure joins in on your torture. Just when you feel like giving up, a last final jolt brings you back to life. Did you just die? It sure felt like it. There would be no point in sleeping now as another dream would surely kill you. That's a definite.
This is all but a vicious cycle; being frightened of sleeping, the tired you become, which then produces these terrors. The lack of sleep and the stress of life may prove too much.
The restless pace of a traveler's heart meets a supernatural force. Or simply... The life and beginnings of a small town teacher.
Otherwordly
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Showing posts with label you. Show all posts
Showing posts with label you. Show all posts
Wednesday, 4 November 2015
Saturday, 21 February 2015
That Girl
That girl you see at the bar isn't always drunk, just lacking in confidence. She isn't intimidating, just shy. She isn't quiet, just unsure of how to talk to people. She prefers to listen and admire the people around her. When she does talk, please don't mistake it as flirting as many people do. She doesn't flirt, she just smiles with her eyes. She sits alone writing, she isn't a weirdo. She does her own thing regardless of what others think. That doesn't mean she is snobby and thinks you are beneath her, she likes being in her own bubble.
That girl doesn't like it when you accuse her of being ignorant. Nine time out of ten you are annoyingly creepy and stating the obvious. Yes she is writing in a bar, yes she is alone. She prefers to stay away from your kind, the kind that makes her stomach roll. She has a reason to ignore your advances. You don't understand being told 'no' for the umpteenth time. You insult her speech, her fashion style. That girl has her eyes set on someone else.
That guy. The guy who appears to be a walking cliche; his smile lights up the room, his eyes sparkling with mischief with a hint of playfulness. His hold makes you feel protected. His touch makes you feel warm inside. An accent that rivals the stereotypical Irish charm. An international crush. Almost perfect. That guy happens to be someone untouchable, out of her league, her friend's crush as it seems too. one could guess it's due to his ability to charm ant woman he comes across.
For now that girl will dream instead.
That girl doesn't like it when you accuse her of being ignorant. Nine time out of ten you are annoyingly creepy and stating the obvious. Yes she is writing in a bar, yes she is alone. She prefers to stay away from your kind, the kind that makes her stomach roll. She has a reason to ignore your advances. You don't understand being told 'no' for the umpteenth time. You insult her speech, her fashion style. That girl has her eyes set on someone else.
That guy. The guy who appears to be a walking cliche; his smile lights up the room, his eyes sparkling with mischief with a hint of playfulness. His hold makes you feel protected. His touch makes you feel warm inside. An accent that rivals the stereotypical Irish charm. An international crush. Almost perfect. That guy happens to be someone untouchable, out of her league, her friend's crush as it seems too. one could guess it's due to his ability to charm ant woman he comes across.
For now that girl will dream instead.
Saturday, 17 May 2014
A Note From MJR to DRG
A four stringed instrument, part of the rhythm section in a band. No band is complete without a bassist.
Bass is, after all, the sexiest instrument.
What do you get a guy to say thank you for a being a friend? Thank you for feeding my reading habits. Thank you for the comfort you brought with you. Simply just thank you.
My Friend told me that I should accept the gifts as gifts and that some people don't want anything in return. But me being me, I can't take without giving back. So I have placed myself into quite a predicament.
This is nothing you can fix with a tacky fridge magnet or a key-chain. It's more personal than that. Well, unless there was something that said "You had me at your correct use of the apostrophe", but I don't think one exists.
Yet as I'm writing this note, I seem to almost answer my question. What better gift can I give you than the power of words? I promise this isn't a stalker note, I'd rather do that in person.
It's like my first post written in Paco's and this goodbye post has drawn a complete circle around itself. My first was about the beautifully talented Diesel Band I saw back in October. That resulted in a game of who could embarrass who the most. I clearly lost. Ain't No Sunshine was the first time you uttered my name on stage. Calling me out on the post I wrote about you and your band-mates. I should have known then that it would be the start of a weird acquaintance/friendship.
Lines did blur once or twice but outside influences soon corrected the tracks. Some of those influences were logical whereas others were jealousy and psychotic (not naming any names but one happens to be hidden in my name). We knew the truth and that was what mattered the most.
Fast forward a few months and the teasing began once again. This time in the shape of monsters and stalkers. I did some legal research and did you know that pimping is a crime. Unfortunately, your form of pimping didn't involve money so you won't be punished. Before you say "is that still pimping then?", it is. Giving out a female's name on stage so people will find her on facebook to 'get to know her' is a type of modernised pimping. That wasn't cool man.
It is good to look back and laugh at all the crazy things that have happened though. Crazy to think that in a short while, it will be the last time I will see you. You're leaving for a new destination, playing your bass, breaking new hearts and causing more mayhem along the way.
I wish you all the best in your endeavours, your conquests and your music. I shall end this note the way I ended the first....
Rocking out to Linkin Park and ironically in the end it didn't really matter that I was some ordinary girl sitting in the corner of a bar writing. This is the music. This is me. This is you
Love,
Melissa (a.k.a MJR)
Monday, 19 November 2012
Closure
Today's post is a letter to someone who I know will most definitely read this. However if they don't its fine. It's more of a letter of closure. A way to forget the past.
"Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together."
by Unknown
I'm not sorry for loving you, but I am sorry for not loving you enough to try and make it work. It's hard for me to make things work when you label the relationship. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you to your face its over, but I'm not sorry for leaving you. There is no point in writing harsh words, or airing dirty secrets; but I have no choice to say what I have to. I can't invest in making time for something that has been on and off for three years. If it never worked then, we should have walked away from each other years ago. For the sake of my heart its why I'm walking away now. You deserve to be happy, with someone who loves you the right way. So maybe I'll see you around one day and I'll say hi, but for now you are no longer going to be running through my head. It's time for me to focus on my life and not the what-ifs that you come with.
Im sorry
"Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together."
by Unknown
I'm not sorry for loving you, but I am sorry for not loving you enough to try and make it work. It's hard for me to make things work when you label the relationship. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you to your face its over, but I'm not sorry for leaving you. There is no point in writing harsh words, or airing dirty secrets; but I have no choice to say what I have to. I can't invest in making time for something that has been on and off for three years. If it never worked then, we should have walked away from each other years ago. For the sake of my heart its why I'm walking away now. You deserve to be happy, with someone who loves you the right way. So maybe I'll see you around one day and I'll say hi, but for now you are no longer going to be running through my head. It's time for me to focus on my life and not the what-ifs that you come with.
Im sorry
Sunday, 18 November 2012
10 Things I Hate about You
I hate the way you talk to me,
And the way you cut your hair...
So here is my list:
And the way you cut your hair...
So here is my list:
- I hate that you the way you dress
- I hate the way you smile
- I hate that you're always depressed/angry
- I hate that you have no goal in life
- I hate that you give no passion
- I hate that you lied to me
- I hate the fact you never turned me on (yes I faked it)
- I hate the way you live your life
- I hate the way you didn't attempt to see me
- I hate everything about you.
Saturday, 3 November 2012
Just Another Night Out
It was a staff night out and of course there was drama, love life being tested, and of course new secrets to be told. I for one found out many things last night, which was oddly reminiscent of last years staff night. Now I cannot go into too much detail just in case certain eyes read this, but it turns out my secret from last year was not so much a secret at all.Which is a good thing sort of, but I hope things don't get awkward. Though I did enjoy last night considerably more, and I did find out that men are complete perves! I suppose it was my own fault for opening my mouth about tattoos and piercings. Yes I made a tit (haha) out of myself. Hey who cares though cause it was all the drinks' fault.
I wonder what happens the next time I see everyone.
I wonder what happens the next time I see everyone.
Saturday, 30 July 2011
I Like...
I like....
The way your smile lights up my heart,
The way your presence makes me happy,
The way you make feel.
I like....
It when your voice lights up my day,
When you make me blush,
When you make me feel.
I like....
You for who you are,
You for making me laugh,
You for making me feel.
I like....
You.
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The way your presence makes me happy,
The way you make feel.
I like....
It when your voice lights up my day,
When you make me blush,
When you make me feel.
I like....
You for who you are,
You for making me laugh,
You for making me feel.
I like....
You.
Labels:
like,
Love,
relationships,
smile,
you
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