Nossa, nossa. Assim você me mata (PG rated version)

Ai, se eu te pego
Ai, ai, se eu te pego

Sitting in the bar, writing these words, I feel like I am almost home. Loud words pounding in my ears, the bass vibrating through my body. Peace. After the day I have endured, the noise and familiarity was welcomed. Today made me look at the cracks in my life and fill them with something new (and not poly-filler as my dad would say to me). New friends, a new career, a new home in the UAE. Well maybe after I get used to the fact that my parents are not here to hold my hand and guide me through life.

At this moment in time a band is playing, well playing mainstream music that I dislike (actually when I have had a few drinks I find myself singing along to anything). However my music opinion aside, the sound that they produce is rather great. In fact they may have introduced me to a song I had never heard of before; the title of this post actually.

With a Bacardi Breezer in one hand and my pen in the other, I am set for the night. To do this sort of writing, the freeing of my emotions and the letting go of what is inside of me, I have left two of my friends outside to drink their vodka.  Is it socially acceptable to be all emo and write in a bar when I could do this at home where it is comfortable and warm. To be honest with you all, I am actually quite introvert. The best moments of my life have been when I succumb to the isolation of my own company. I would apologise for the rambling but currently the guitar riffs I hear are trying to help my body lose control, and I need to be careful before I start writing some x-rated story. Yeah that has happened before, but for now lets focus on the band.

Right now it appears to be someone's birthday and the band is getting the whole crowd involved. Scenes like this warm the heart. The song choices are amazing (yes I know I said they were mainstream) and they have also chosen songs that make you stop and think "oh wow. I haven't heard that song in a while". Then all of a sudden your body develops a mind of its own; first the tapping of the foot, then the rhythmic leg bounce and before you know it, your body is upon the dance-floor moving with a spirit so free that it is contagious to everyone around begins to dance -or if you are like me then your are looking like you are having some sort of fit. Ok, back to the band. See, I digress rather easily.

The band is named Diesel, and they are actually a group that can play. I have seen my acts before in local bars and pubs and the song choices are more cheesy kareoke than entertainment. Yet Diesel manages to avoid this and create an atmosphere that is so electric, the rhythm of the music can be felt throughout your body, racing through your veins and hitting your soul in all the right places.
You just have to let go and let the music run through you.

Natasha, or Tash as some people call her, is one of the vocalists. She has a beautiful voice and definitely knows how to start a party in style. Let say girls, she has the best sense of style I have seen in a long time. Though lets not take that away from the amazing voice she has. For someone to vary their style of singing the way she does, is incredible. The moves on that girl in heels whilst she is singing are simple but they capture the attention of both men and women in the room.
Next there is Patrick, another vocalist who looks almost like Bruce Willis. He reminds me of a man with a young boy's soul-so full of life and the ability to range his songs from those before my birth to things like Macklemore's Thrift-Shop. That has got to be a skill.
We also have present a guitarist called Thomas and the bass player named Dean. The way those guys capture your attention through the riffs is astounding. The way they move their fingers...in fact I cannot say what I want to say cause it would be highly indecent and inappropriate for such a review. Though the coordinated outfits would make any woman's hormones go crazy.
Finally we have the drummer - Marcus. You can see the talent in the sounds he produces and the emotions showing on his face. The sound made creates a new version of the song taking it from cheesy pop to almost rock-like and alternative. The way he hits those drums a girl could only imagine. Ok lets try to get this back on to topic before the tone will turn into something completely and unintentionally dirty.

The band look like they actually belong together; like pieces of a jigsaw they fall into the correct place. They also remind me of a snowflake. So unique and beautiful, yet they create a masterpiece when placed next to each other. When you look at a masterpiece, it sometimes brings you close to tears. That is your soul letting you know that you should grasp this moment with both hands and treasure it. That is what the audience should feel when they are in the presence of Diesel. A moment never to forget. Each moment so unique.

I could continue to write this piece for as long as I wanted too, but I could never give the band enough attention and justice they deserve.  So I shall end this note rocking out to Linkin Park and ironically it didn't really matter that I was some girl sitting in the corner of a bar writing this. In the end this me. This is the music. This is Diesel.

Ai, se eu te pego,
Ai, ai, se eu te pego
Read more at http://lyricstranslate.com/en/ai-se-eu-te-pego-ah-when-i-get-my-hands-you.html#F770Ovgbk6jU2Upy.99

Ai, se eu te pego,
Ai, ai, se eu te pego
Read more at http://lyricstranslate.com/en/ai-se-eu-te-pego-ah-when-i-get-my-hands-you.html#F770Ovgbk6jU2Upy.99

Ai, se eu te pego,
Ai, ai, se eu te pego
Read more at http://lyricstranslate.com/en/ai-se-eu-te-pego-ah-when-i-get-my-hands-you.html#F770Ovgbk6jU2Upy.99

Ai, se eu te pego,
Ai, ai, se eu te pego
Read more at http://lyricstranslate.com/en/ai-se-eu-te-pego-ah-when-i-get-my-hands-you.html#F770Ovgbk6jU2Upy.99

Ai, se eu te pego,
Ai, ai, se eu te pego
Read more at http://lyricstranslate.com/en/ai-se-eu-te-pego-ah-when-i-get-my-hands-you.html#F770Ovgbk6jU2Upy.99

Ai, se eu te pego,
Ai, ai, se eu te pego
Read more at http://lyricstranslate.com/en/ai-se-eu-te-pego-ah-when-i-get-my-hands-you.html#F770Ovgbk6jU2Upy.99

Ai, se eu te pego,
Ai, ai, se eu te pego
Read more at http://lyricstranslate.com/en/ai-se-eu-te-pego-ah-when-i-get-my-hands-you.html#F770Ovgbk6jU2Upy.99

A Little Piece of Quiet...

....is all I fricking ask for!

Sunday is the worst day of the week ever. Work requires me to be up at 6.15am so I can set off at 6.45an to get to work for 7.45am. It is not so much the getting up that causes me problems, but its the effects that is has on my day. I do not function before 10am; I can just barely stand up and produce coherent sentences.My shift finishes at roughly 12.15pm so the shift itself is not that bad, it is either a) the customers during my shift or b) what happens when I get home.

My bus is normally late on a Sunday, arriving ten minutes after it states on the timetable. So if one was to add multiple roadworks and temporary traffic lights in to the mix, I get annoyed. Luckily I don't have to wait around for dinner, as my mum is lovely and cooks it for when I walk through the door. My Sunday Roast was delicious today so no complaints there. About 2pm every Sunday I like to have a nap; 6.15am Sunday mornings and Monday mornings mean they are necessary. My naps are where I shall be complaining.

Really is it necessary to open and close the same door multiple times in the space of five minutes (that is no exaggeration). What the hell is so important in the fridge or freezer that you need to visit it so many goddamn times. Other days the noise that is made does not bother me, but nap time equals quiet time. So stop disturbing me.  Oh another thing, when I get my own house I want a house that isn't attached to another. I don't want neighbours. The walls are so thin, that I can hear my neighbour, scrape the chairs across the either tiled or linoleum flooring in the kitchen, or the stomping of elephant feet up the stairs. I can even tell who the culprit of the latter is. He is well known for the unnecessary loudness of his speech, his music and his walking. Oh don't forget the giggles after he sneezes. Might as well blow the roof off the house while your there mate!

I know it seems like I'm asking for too much, but I get shouted at all the time for making noise when my mother is asleep. Hello, please even the same courtesy back please. And my neighbours please tell your grandson to shut the f*ck up!

Rant over.
Off to try and have a nap.
P.s I am tired so I get annoyed more easily at unnecessary things.
(As I typed this, the neighbours door slammed that hard by room shook, and is constantly banging that I do not have clue what is going on!)

Cause it's all in my head.

Well apparently it is anyway.

After many years google has actually diagnosed me correctly in match with my doctor's diagnosis.
I'm not sure when it started but I remember each day becoming worse at meal times. I would sit in my normal place in the living room, processing the food in my mouth when I would notice a family member eating quite loudly. Now this family member does have manners but for some reason, it just started to annoy me. Id give him slight looks as to say "please eat a bit quieter" but it didn't work. Then after that any noise would begin to aggravate me. The breathing through ones nose felt like someone breathing deeply into my ear. When one would sigh abnormally when moving or just through boredom, it felt like my nerves were on fire. Suddenly any noise would become annoying. My mother has sinus problems and hay fever so she sniffs quite regularly, yet to me it seemed that it was too often and unnecessary to do so.

It wasn't just my family members that aggravated me, I found it quite hard to be around people when they ate. Even people on a train sneezing, coughing, sighing. Any noise possible made me feel angry and I needed to run away and hide. I found myself distancing from everyone and locking myself up in my room. But even then I couldn't escape the noises. When someone would brush their teeth, the running water would driving me to tears. It was like I had become trapped in a nightmare of loudness.

Years passed at the sensitivity to noises became worse. Now every time someone eats, smacks their lips, breathes slightly heavier than normal etc. I actually imagine myself shaking them or hitting them to be quiet. I have even cried myself at night cause I cannot stand to be around my family sometimes.

One day, my mam jokingly suggested I look up my "annoyance at noises" on Google and I came across the term 'Misophonia'. I thought it was a made up disorder at first but through extensive research, I realised this was a real thing. Many times I believed I was being selfish, fussy, or just plain moody, but instead there was an answer to my problems. I even read real life experiences and joined a Facebook group on the disorder, and suddenly I didn't feel so alone in the world.

Yet those who suffer with Misophonia deal with the problem I have everyday; people who laugh, mock and ignore what we have. It is a real disorder and it is not something to take lightly. Even many doctors believe there is no such thing. But how can so many people suffer with Misophonia and still be ignored and dismissed so easily. One day I hope this disorder can be treated successfully, instead of being passed around from one doctor to another who clearly don't have a clue. Until then, I will have to deal with society. I do not want to suffer in silence for the rest of my life.

Arguments.

ar·gu·ment/ˈärgyəmənt/
Noun:

1. An exchange of diverging or opposite views, typically a heated or angry one: "I've had an argument with my father".
    
2. A reason or set of reasons given with the aim of persuading others that an action or idea is right or wrong.

I have just had an argument with my neighbour. Her grandson thinks it hilarious to annoy me with his music. I for one could not care less that he plays music but what I do care is when I can hear it, the constant loud thudding of bass and the repetitive tune blasting through the walls. It isn't hard to consider the other person's feelings and play music at a decent level. Its not like I'm asking him to turn it off.

Oh and apparently I need to show some respect!. Me respect. I have respected the stupid little twat by not going to the police, council or my dad (yeah my dad is quite possibly the scariest man when angry). I have respected the kid when I have to be up for 6 am and he's decided to play music until 1/2 am. I even respected him by not saying anything to his Nana when he demolished the house when having an argument with his girlfriend at 12:43 am and decided to pretty much break down the front door of my house the next day when his Nana found out about his little antics.

Well that is it. I had enough. I sent an email to him explaining I would put in a formal complaint about his noise levels if he wasn't to show me some consideration. And then I stupidly told my dad about what I had done and what his reply was.
Big mistake.

My dad decided to have a go at my lovely neighbour Pat about her grandson. Now normally we can settle such disputes very easily but my dad just had to get involved and act like a big hard man (when in fact he's more of a dick). Poor neighbour won't even speak to my mam or me now. Thanks a lot. A good solid friendship has been spoilt because my dad couldn't leave things be.

In fact, he's still blabbering on about it downstairs right now.

One of those days....

Yes. One of those days it is. Were everything annoys me. From the little gasps of breathe coming from my mother's mouth, to the footsteps that make a mouse sound like an elephant. But it's not just the noise that is annoying me, it just the mere presence of people in the same vicinity as me. Knowing that some one is sharing the same oxygen as me, annoys me. Oh how even the word annoy is starting to annoy me. If only I had a remote control that a had a mute button, life would be perfect. Just block out all offending noises.

I wish I had a bubble were I could plop myself into, and hide myself away from the world. You would think I would lock myself in my room, oh how that would be nice. But that would require a lock and some heavy sound-proofing around the house. I'm at the point now were I cannot even name the mood I'm in. It's not anger, frustration or any other negative, its just there.

At least I can vent out to this piece of metal and not get annoyed. Then again....