A New Day, A New Start

     Too many days, I have stood in front of the dressing room mirror and glaring at it's reflection. The once toned and athletic body has become frumpy and lumpy. Turning around in my dress,. one can easily notice the ever growing cellulite and the fresh pink stretch marks that have appeared over time. The laid back university life, and it's consumption of alcohol and take-aways has finally taken it's toll on my body. No longer am I the size 10-12 with pronounced hips. The size 14-16 is clear to me now. Yet every attempt I make to change this change in life-style, failure is always ahead
     So as a final endeavour to save my changing body, I am changing my eating habits (but will not exclude fatty foods or chocolate, but will eat them in moderation instead), and excercise will make its debut. It is here on this blog that I will show my weaknesses and strengths of my body, and show the progress of my diet.
Hopefully this will work.

You see there's no real ending....

.... It's only the beginning

I sometimes think that this world is too real and fixed on the proper. What is to say that what is right is wrong, and what is wrong is right. What happens if the "mad" people are actually the sane ones in the world, and the sane are actually mentally unstable. Society today shows us what is deemed improper. I am not justifying certain mental states here, such as those who kill or cause any harm to others, but the types that use such an enormous part of the brain; creating worlds of their own. Such usage of the brain is liberating and imaginitave. Certain mental illnesses are not what they seem.

Take a look in the mirror. You have a choice. To look at yourself and see what rules and conditions who have been brought up with. Look at how you choose paths in life. The "right" paths. The ones that are deemed socially correct. See how your every day language changes when more rules are placed upon you. See how your mind is only capable of being creative to an extent that doesnt push boundaries. You dress how you are expected to dress. You speak your mind when it is acceptable, but you edit. That is what the world is - an edited version of what it should be.

Now this is where an option appears.

Do you continue to follow the norms as you have done since growing up, or do you take another path? One that is "wrong". One that is socially and politically improper. Do you choose how you use your mind? Do you speak freely no matter the consequence; to speak the truth? Do you dress how you want to against social norms. Do you dream of your own world and see it in the real one?

The mirror is a gateway to your life. It shows you exactly who you are. The imperfections, the "perfections". It provides a second conscience. One can certainly add make-up to hide away dreams and fantasies. Or it can create an outlet to who you really are. The one who pushes the limits. The one who isnt afraid to stand out from the norm.

For me, I am one of those who hides behind the mirror. I only show what people need to see but in honesty. I dream of a world were nothing is real. Everything is not what it should be. I want to see what my creative world would be in reality, where people are not restricted to gender roles, or ruled by the stigma of madness.  

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
 That is according to Einstein. So who is to say that someone is insane when they really arent. We all dream every day, every night expecting a different outcome; is that insane? No. It's what life is all about.

What would it be like to live in a world, where no one was deemed mad, insane, or crazy? Were no-one judges you for the weird things you say, do, wear. To live in a world were I am restricted in my ability to dream, to create, to believe is the correct definition of insane.

A Random Quiz

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4. Slowly opens its mouth, and these words come out
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch?A pillow
3. Before you started this survey, what were you doing? Watching CSI
4. What is the last thing you watched on TV? CSI:Crime Scene Investigation
5. Without looking, guess what time it is. Half 7ish
6. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 19:39
7. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?Parents talking
8. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? It was when I came home from work, I stepped outside to play with my dog
9. Did you dream last night?Yes unfortunately
10. Do you remember your dreams?Again yes
11. When did you last laugh? A few hours ago at work
12. Do you remember why / at what?I laughed at my co-workers moving tables and destroying the place :)
13. What is on the walls of the room you are in?Masks
14. Seen anything weird lately? Erm can't recall anything, but my brain is fried so
15. What is the last film you saw?Pictue Perfect with Jennifer Aniston
16. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?I would live somewhere in the UK or Germany
17. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? I would buy a brand new car, a house with a walk-in wadrobe filled with loads of clothes.
18. Tell me something about you that most people don't know. I have an obsession with masks and dolls
19. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? Some songs by Halfway Home
20. Last time you swam in a pool?Phwoar must be about four years ago now
21. Type of music you like most? Mostly the alternative stuff
22. Type of music you dislike most?RAVE!!!!!!
23. What was the last thing you bought?A KitKat Chunky Caramel
24. Have you ever ridden on a motorbike?Nope but I want to :)
25. If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be?Jared Leto or Synyster Gates
26. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?New Look
27. What time is bed time?Any time I get tired
28. How many tattoos do you have?Eight with one upcoming
29. Do you carry a donor card?Yes I do and I'm proud of it
30. Who was the last person you ate dinner with? No one :(
31. Is the glass half empty or half full?Depends what mood I'm in
32. What's the farthest-away place you've been? Gran Canaria
33. Have you ever won a trophy? Yes in primary school year 6
34. Are you a good cook?It depends what I'm cooking
35. How many keys on your key ring?Too many to count and then some
36. What kind of car do you drive?None ate the moment, but soon to be a fiat punto
37. What are your best physical features?My eyes and smile apparently
38. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go?Florida, Paris or Venice

That Little Trip

Recently me and my best friend Emma went to Amsterdam to celebrate her 21st birthday. Yeah she is classed as old now :).

It was crazy how excited we were to be finally going on holiday without parental or any type of adult supervision. A three day cruise without any rules and curfews from parents. There was one problem though, I had no idea if I got sea-sick or not. What a way to find out. When the ferry left the port, I was so happy that I never felt any sickness, and in my moment of joy I rang my mother. Bad idea. I never realised how fast the boat would go at that moment in time. Turns out I do get sea-sick.

How does one go about curing oneself? Oh yes, visit the help desk. This is how that convesation went:
Me: Excuse me, could I have a se-sickness tablet please?
Crew Member(CM): What's the matter like?
Me: I feel sick since I got here
Emma: Yeah been feeling sick we got on the ferry
CM: Oh so your sea-sick...here take that
******
Me: Well I'm sure I told him I was sea-sick

That conversation was pointless I know.

I wont detail every minute and every hour of our trip just some fun parts.

1) We got crazily drunk on the first night.

2) We got lost in Amsterdam

3) Emma nearly got ran over by a tram lol :P
(sorry no pic for that)

4) I nearly got ran over by a bike
(no pic for that either)

5) We visited a sex museum

6) Me and Emma tried a chocolate brownie :)
That was a bad experience and I never wish to do it again :(

7) I wanted to adopt a turtle but Emma did instead

8) We did the Titanic even though Emma's mam told us not too

9) Visited the Red Light District and bought a T-shirt :)

(yes the phot was taken in England but it was the only photo showing off the t-shirt)





10) Finally we were back in Newcastle Port and I was so happy to see English soil

I need a....

change in life.

So today was real sunny, like my garden just trapped the sun completely. No breeze. Just the sun and me on my lounger. Yet it was during this lovely sunbathing session when I realised how much I have let myself go. None of my shorts fit me, though weirdly my top half hasn't changed that much considering I can still fit in my bikini from five year ago :/. Back to my main point, my constant eating now has transformed my tummy into a monster. For this reason I will start my diet and excercise as soon as this week is over with. That way I can consume as much junk as I want before I give it up.


It is not just my eating habits that I wish to change, I am getting bored of the same hair colour and ame hairstyle. I think I have done very well lately, letting my hair grow and get back to its normal healthy state; but it is annoying me so much.

So here's to a new me. Hopefully

 

Life's a Bitch

 Then you marry one....

I have caught myself in the middle of a predicament again. I finally thought I had got out of a sticky situation with two people last week, but as my luck would have it one person would not let go. For once I wish I had the guts to tell people how I feel without feeling guilty of the consequences. Yet through this I think I have finally found someone who will put up with my high-maintenance self :). I once stated that I would never go back out with my ex, but somehow fate had won and that's exactly what has happened. I am not complaining though. He's sweet and funny, and knows how to handle my distance.

My weird love-life aside, university life is going great. I have a conditional offer at Sunderland for my teaching course. Hopefully, I will be able to reach the requirements and earn the right to keep my position. Also its not long till I can get my new baby...my first car. I am so excited. I will finally be free; well as free as the petrol allowance will let me be haha.

That's it for now, I have essays and a dissertation to take my mind off the upcoming week :/
That will be a post for later.

A Little Piece of Quiet...

....is all I fricking ask for!

Sunday is the worst day of the week ever. Work requires me to be up at 6.15am so I can set off at 6.45an to get to work for 7.45am. It is not so much the getting up that causes me problems, but its the effects that is has on my day. I do not function before 10am; I can just barely stand up and produce coherent sentences.My shift finishes at roughly 12.15pm so the shift itself is not that bad, it is either a) the customers during my shift or b) what happens when I get home.

My bus is normally late on a Sunday, arriving ten minutes after it states on the timetable. So if one was to add multiple roadworks and temporary traffic lights in to the mix, I get annoyed. Luckily I don't have to wait around for dinner, as my mum is lovely and cooks it for when I walk through the door. My Sunday Roast was delicious today so no complaints there. About 2pm every Sunday I like to have a nap; 6.15am Sunday mornings and Monday mornings mean they are necessary. My naps are where I shall be complaining.

Really is it necessary to open and close the same door multiple times in the space of five minutes (that is no exaggeration). What the hell is so important in the fridge or freezer that you need to visit it so many goddamn times. Other days the noise that is made does not bother me, but nap time equals quiet time. So stop disturbing me.  Oh another thing, when I get my own house I want a house that isn't attached to another. I don't want neighbours. The walls are so thin, that I can hear my neighbour, scrape the chairs across the either tiled or linoleum flooring in the kitchen, or the stomping of elephant feet up the stairs. I can even tell who the culprit of the latter is. He is well known for the unnecessary loudness of his speech, his music and his walking. Oh don't forget the giggles after he sneezes. Might as well blow the roof off the house while your there mate!

I know it seems like I'm asking for too much, but I get shouted at all the time for making noise when my mother is asleep. Hello, please even the same courtesy back please. And my neighbours please tell your grandson to shut the f*ck up!

Rant over.
Off to try and have a nap.
P.s I am tired so I get annoyed more easily at unnecessary things.
(As I typed this, the neighbours door slammed that hard by room shook, and is constantly banging that I do not have clue what is going on!)