To Talk or not to Talk, That is the Question....

“Highly sensitive people are too often perceived as weaklings or damaged goods. To feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness, it is the trademark of the truly alive and compassionate. It is not the empath who is broken, it is society that has become dysfunctional and emotionally disabled. There is no shame in expressing your authentic feelings. Those who are at times described as being a 'hot mess' or having 'too many issues' are the very fabric of what keeps the dream alive for a more caring, humane world. Never be ashamed to let your tears shine a light in this world.”
― Anthon St. Maarten

This quote struck a chord today. "You are too sensitive.", "You need to stop wearing your heart on your sleeve."You need to grow up and mature, you are still young." These were the words uttered to me after a lengthy conversation about my ability to cry at anything. But in the same talk there were these words "You need to talk more and be open." That to me seems to quite a contradiction. Which oen would you rather I do? Should I talk more and communicate about how I feel or stop taking things to heart. Well lets look at both sides of the coin.

Situation 1: Talk More.
I cry through anger or frustration. I laugh at innappropiate times. I lose friendships and relationships because I want to talk about how I feel. It hurts to know that sometimes the person I am talking to doesn't actually listen to what I am saying. I am, according to you, a mess. I have too many issues.
Situation 2: Stop The Talking.
I lose my ability to sympathise with situations. I do not care about anything or anyone. I become angry. I get asked to "smile more".  I am cold. I close myself off. I lose friends and family.

Now what would you like me to do? Please bare in mind that asking me to choose one is impossible. Having anxiety means that I'm constantly worrying about my actions. You say I make you feel like crap because I closed myself off. Guess what I am feeling worse than you are. You say I need to stop worrying and just forgot about a situation. Guess what I will always worry until a new problem arises. I don;t want to talk to people because I have lost so much as it is. But I don't want to stay quiet because that annoys people. Guess what, you annoy me by asking me to pick an option. Just let me be how I am. 
Writing is my only release. I put the jumbled up, fragmented thoughts from my head to the paper/screen. Now is that classed as talking or not talking? I mean, I still have my release. Just that its in a different way that you don't think works.Yes maybe some days it is pointless me writing. Sometimes it is petty things that I discuss. Yet it is this that keeps me sane.
At the end of the day, I am quite happy being sensitive, It shows I can be compassionate, that I have feelings and that I am aware of the situation at hand. It is not weakness. It is not immaturity. It is not a way that shows I am incapable of dealing with a conflict. It is my strength. It shows that underneath my shell, I am human. I simply just care too much.