Choking on a dream.

“I woke myself in the darkness, and I knew only that a dream had scared me so badly that I had to wake up or die, and yet, try as I might, I could not remember what I had dreamed. The dream was haunting me: standing behind me, present and yet invisible, like the back of my head, simultaneously there and not there.” 
                                    Neil Gaman - Ocean at the End of the Lane


Dreams. Some you tend to forget. Sometimes you get the occasional one that will stay with you for a lifetime; often enough that same dream can reoccur. Maybe one of those dreams is a dramatic chase or a tragic love story. Maybe you can see everyone crystal clear or they could all be a blur.  Whatever the dream, whoever is involved - it remains a memory that you can never be free of.

In a twisted sense of humour, my dreams have been exceedingly weird.  Ever since I could remember, I have always had this "choking" dream.

I would wake up from a dream in my bed to find someone who I had never come across consciously sitting on my chest and wrapping their hands around my throat. The person, sometimes invisible, would crush my chest with it's weight, a force so powerful I would be unable to breathe. I would fight as much as I could with this person or thing but I felt so weak. 

Yet as strange as it seemed, I knew it was a dream. It felt so real in the sense that no matter how hard I would shake my body or try to free myself from this pressure,I could never wake up. I could toss and turn will all my strength but nothing would work. It was like my body had to wake up on it's own.  When I would finally wake up, the dream was never over. Tears would be streaming down my face and my body would be sweaty and tangled amongst the bedsheets.My chest would feel constricted and it would be hard to breathe. My heart would race so fast that it would almost explode.


This dream has happened several times during my 22 years, but recently it has occurred at least 3 times in the past six months.  The dream is always the same; lying in bed on my back with the window open. However the bed would coincidently match the one I fell asleep in on that particular night.

I'm not sure what is exactly going on but I never wish to experience this again.